Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

501 In 10,000 That Come For The Show

Hey, Bobby. Nice jeans.

“They were sold to me as a lengthy short.”

Sure. Is this an ad?

“Yup. Been doing ’em for years. What people don’t realize about the Grateful Dead is: We were trying our hardest to sell out. It was just that no one was buying. We all used to go on commercial auditions in between tours.”

Really?

“Oh, yeah. Billy was almost in that Prince Spaghetti ad. But, uh, he would improvise lines about Italian-Americans.”

Sounds right.

“I’ll tell ya: If you get the chance to endorse a dungaree concern, take it. They send you a lifetime supply of trousers and a giant check.”

How many jeans is a lifetime supply?

“Three pair.”

Levi’s makes a sturdy product.

“Y’can’t kill the 501. They’re very slightly bulletproof.”

What does that mean?

“In real terms, nothing. But with a high-speed camera, you can see a marked loss of velocity.”

Okay. Did Levi’s send you all those clothes?

“Not the toppermost.”

Obviously.

“There was a crisp hundo in the shirt pocket. Very classy touch from the Levi’s folks.”

That’s thoughtful. Where are you, anyway?

“The cloud forests of Nach-En-Ki.”

Care to explain that?

“Nah.”

1 Comment

  1. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    Levi’s 501 masks, better that N95 because they’re 406 higher.

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