Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Author: Thoughts On The Dead (page 2 of 942)

All The (Neil) Young Dudes

You know your little obsessions bore everyone, right?

Fuck ’em.

Good attitude.

Don’t Even Ask Him To Stop His Leg

Fun fact for all you New York kids: Smiling Boy next to Robert Klein is longtime WNEW deejay Dennis Elsas.


Obvious fact: The guy with the beard is from the record company. Any time you see a picture of Rock Stars and there’s a guy with a beard, he’s from the record company.

Temporal non-fact: Y’think it’s 1:13 in the afternoon or morning? (My guess is afternoon; everyone looks sober.)

Spot The Heineken: Glam Rock Edition

“Where your scrumptious little guitarist?”

“Ronno? He’s avoiding you. Fred, dear, you mustn’t be so forward with the lad. He’s from Hull. They don’t have homosexuals there.”

“Tosh. I was being friendly.”

“You flat-out asked if you could see his todger.”

“Did I? Sometimes, I get away from myself at parties, darling. Tell Veronica I apologize.”

“And he really doesn’t like it when you call him ‘Veronica.”

“Oh, he’s just no fun at all.”

Und Adolf’s Stealing Clothes From Marks & Sparks

Three thoughts:

  1. Glam is great. Prog is wonderful. You can’t fucking mix them.
  2. The guys in the band who aren’t the two you noticed are named Ian Hampton, Trevor White, and Dinky Diamond, which your editor would make you change for being “too British” if you were writing a satirical novel.
  3. Hitler.

All The Way From Tamalpais

Hey, Bobby. Whatcha doing?

“I’m going hog-wild. Halfway to banging my head.”

Oh, don’t do that.

“And, uh, I might jump at the end of the song. That’s a primo Rock Star move. You know how that one goes.”

I do.

“Requires a buy-in from your drummer. Everyone’s gotta be onboard with the end-of-song jump. Otherwise, you look like…what’s that word your people love?”


“There ya go. Y’look like a schmuck. First rule of Rock n’ Roll: Don’t look like a schmuck. No, wait. The first rule is: Always assume she’s got the Clap. Second rule is the schmuck thing. Another good Rock Rule is not to leave your female band members alone with the promoter. Especially if you’re in Buffalo.”

These are all good rules, Bobby.

“Without them, we are merely animals.”



I have absolutely no idea who the people you’re playing with are.”

“All right, then.”

A Million More, Richard

In honor of Little Richard’s 87th birthday, TotD proudly re-presents the single cocainiest performance ever captured on film. (With a special appearance by Little Richard’s potato salad!)

Bob The Hoople

“Boppy Doodle.”

What now?

“The, uh, Scooby Babble. That band you like now.”

Mott The Hoople.

“Sure, okay. Punkers?”


“Heavy mental?”

How have you not heard of Mott The Hoople? You’re in the same business as them.

“Well, no one opens for us, so we don’t get to meet a lot of the other groups on the road. And, uh, we don’t hang out at the Rainbow.”

You guys never did.

“Can you keep a secret?”


“They wouldn’t let us in.”

The Rainbow wouldn’t let the Grateful Dead in?

“They said we were the wrong type of Rock Star. Lemmy gave us the finger.”

I’m sorry you had to go through that.

“It hurt a little bit. Phil really wanted to hang out with Harry Nilsson.”

Tough one.

“Right. So, yeah, we were in a bit of a bubble when it came to our peers in the music industry. Also, you know, a lot of people stayed the hell away from us.”

Because you used to drug strangers.

“Yeah. We did that a lot.”

Not A Hoople

Jaco on bass.
Aynsley Dunbar on drums.
David Sanborn on sax.
Freddie, Brian, and Roger from Queen doing the backing vocals.

Billie Eilish has not heard of any of these people.

(EDITOR’S NOTE: The lovely chaps at Omnibus Press have sent me copies of Ian Hunter’s Diary of a Rock Star and Ian Hunter’s biography Rock ‘n’ Roll Sweepstakes by Campbell Devine, so it’s gonna be both Mottesque and Hooplish around here for a while. You’re free to wander off and check back in a couple days; I wont hold it against you.)

If A Fan Of The Grateful Dead Is A Deadhead…

…then are Mott The Hoople fans “Hoopleheads?”

Wait, What (Again)

I’ve had this scene in my head for 40 years, and I’m only finding out today that one of the Airmen was Leo McGarry? AND THE OTHER ONE WAS BABY MICHAEL FUCKIN’ MADSEN?

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