Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Best Of Both Drinks


Hey, Sammy Hagar. Whatcha doing?

“Getting the party started! WOO!”

Good for you.

“I invented double drinking. I saw Eddie do that two-handed tapping thing, and I figured I could translate that to drinking tequila.”

You chose a beverage and you’re sticking with it.

“And I’m trying to catch up to Billy.”

Oh, no. Do not try to catch up to Billy. People have died.

“Yeah, that’s people, man. I’m the Red Rocker.”

I saw your shirt.

“I gotta get some new ones made up. The Dead Rocker. Sell ’em in my restaurants.”

How many of those do you have?

“Six? Seven? I don’t know, man: I got whatcha call an empire.”

You’re like the dirtbag Jimmy Buffett.

“I’m gonna take that as a compliment.”

It was meant as one.

“Besides…we talking privately here?”

Pretty much.

“I’m using this association to launch a new business. Sammy Hagar is–”

You’re gonna sell pot.

“–getting into the cannabis game. How’d you know?”

It’s 2016. Everyone’s getting into pot. Bubble’s already growing.

“Tell me about it. I gotta move fast.”

Then it’s good you joined the Dead; they’ve always been known for quick decisions and decisive actions.

“It ain’t my old band.”

Less crystal myth.

“Thank fuck for that, man.”


  1. Someone needs to loan Sammy the time sheath so he can buy a bag of legal reefer in 2018.

    His business projections and profit margins will look pretty slim when the price drop kicks in, as it already has in Oregon and Colorado

  2. Mean, Green, Devil Eating Machine

    May 26, 2016 at 12:59 pm

    Thank goodness he is holding the drinks in the correct hands (red = port = left, green = starboard = right).

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