Enthusiasts, we need to discuss David Lemieux. Come in to my office. Have a seat. Would you mind terribly if I masturbate?
Excuse me. Would you mind if I masturbate terribly?
I told you to stop it. How does one masturbate terribly?
If you end up with an eye infection.
I guess. Cease the creepiness and get to your point.
My point is this: motherfuckers don’t recognize. David Lemieuslix gives his all for you, every day of his life except weekends and holidays and vacations and he usually half-asses it on Wednesdays, and do you say “Thank you?” Have any of you traveled to his fishing shack to perform the traditional Canadian Dance of Gratitude? (It involves salmon and mockery of Winnipeg.) Have you remembered to smash that like button and subscribe to his YouTube channel?
No. You don’t. And you know what? He still works hard for you. The next time there’s a windstorm, he’s going to shoot another video for you. When you turn on your radio, he’ll be on it telling you about This Day in Grateful Dead History, unless you do not have satellite radio, in which case David will not be on it. And four times a year, plus two or three other times a year, he’ll be in your mailbox with the tastiest of jams. Kings and Pharaohs couldn’t get jams this tasty; the technology simply didn’t exist at the time.
Think of who could have been in charge of Official Releases. The band? The fucking band? We’d still be on Dick’s Picks 4 if the band were allowed any sort of say. Nurse-killing lunatic Richard Speck? I don’t even know if he’s a Deadhead. Marlee Matlin? This is entirely the wrong job for Marlee Matlin, talented as she is. The Siege of Stalingrad? No, that was a historical event; it would make a lousy archivist. Clearly, David Lemieux is the best man for the job.
I make this appreciation having listened to Dave’s Picks Vol
25 24, which is from the ’72 Berkeley Community Theater run. Three of the shows–8/21, 22, and 24–have circulated forever and are spectacular in every way but get overshadowed by the Veneta show later in the week. 8/25, however, has always had half the second set missing. But now it’s back. And it’s here to let you know that it can really shake ’em down.
Leave me alone. I’m being nice to someone.
You are. It’s weird. Are you going to ask him for money?
No. I was going to imply that I would accept money.
Wrap it up.
AND the RFK ’89 box that came out last week, which is–I believe but cannot be bothered to check–from the multi-tracks and sounds like God’s got his tongue in your ear; I might listen to it for a third time tonight.
To sum up: David Lemieutinyonthebounty is neck-and-neck with Jeff Chimenti in the “Best Thing to Happen to the Dead After There Wasn’t a Dead Anymore” category, and since Jeff Chimenti never likes any of my tweets, DL wins. Motherfuckers better recognize.
Stop saying that.