Grammy, Pappy

“Do you know Belinda Carlisle?”

I do, but that’s not her.

“She was a Bangle.”

Also wrong.

“And a hell of a gymnastics coach.”

That’s Bela Karolyi, buddy. The woman you’re talking to is the very talented singer/songwriter Brandi Carlile.

“Ah. She’s the daughter of a Bangle. Bangelldottir, the Icelandic would say.”

No. She’s not related to any popular girl groups of the 80’s.

“I nearly joined Vixen in ’84.”

No, you didn’t.

“Oh, yeah. This was around when I was doing Bobby & the Midnites and the other solo stuff. I was spending a lot of time in Los Angeles and I was seeing Vixen’s drummer.”

Hard-Hittin’ Roxy Petrucci?

“Sounds about right. She was 5’2″ and all muscle. Like a giant iguana. Lot of fun.”

This didn’t happen.

“And, uh, the band went through one of their lineup shifts and needed a guitarist. So I put my toe in the water, metaphorically speaking. Went down to jam with them.”

How did that go?

“Poorly. As poorly as you’d expect. They didn’t know any cowboy songs. Didn’t, uh, wanna learn any cowboy songs. Entirely unpracticed in improvisational jazz-inflected space-rock. And no catering. When the Dead rehearsed, there would always be food there. It’s one of the only reasons people would show up for rehearsal. But, uh, Vixen did not provide any refreshments at all besides a 12-pack of Lowenbrau that rapidly assumed room temperature.”

The vicissitudes of rock n’ roll.

“Deprivation, man. After a couple of hours, we found common musical ground, though.”

Chuck Berry covers?

“Oh, yeah.”

You go back to the source.

“There you go, right. So, uh, we ran through a bunch of Chuck’s tunes and sort of felt out each other’s musical bliss. It started to sound pretty good, and plus I was checking out the bass player.”

Uh-huh. Vixen was famously an all-female band. How were you going to join?

“We were contemplating a Bosom Buddies scenario.”

Nope. All of this is nonsense.

“In the end, they went a different direction, but I still think about that sometimes. The road not taken.”

Bobby, you did not almost join Vixen. Stop it.

“You like my tie?”

Is that a tie? I thought you worshiped Guitar Jesus.

“No, it’s a tie. Bolo tie.”

Oh, it’s nice.