I was going to, Enthusiasts, I was going to. I tried, and hopefully I will, but not now. I’ll have to write about Cornell in a month–it’s the 40th and the spiffy new Box Set is coming out–and if I write about Cornell ’77: The Music, The Myth, and The Magnificence of the Grateful Dead’s Concert at Barton Hall now, then I might just blow my Cornell wad and then I’ll be dry next month, and dust will shoot out of my word-cock.
What now?
My word-cock. That’s what writing is. Emptying your brain-balls all over the page via your meaty word-cock, staining it with your essence. This is the first step towards literary immortality.
Would the second step be actually publishing something?
DON’T YOU PUBLISH-SHAME ME, MOTHERFUCKER.
All your friends have published books. Even some of the dumb ones.
I hate you.
It’s mutual. Go back to talking about the thing you’re not talking about.
Right: I have nothing to say about this book. Not that it’s a work-for-hire rush job to capitalize on the 40th that the author admits in the acknowledgements was not his idea. Not that it spends 30 or so pages delving into the backstories of the student committee that brought the Dead to the school that night. Not that one of the two glossy-paged picture sections is just photos of the Cornell campus. Not that a full ten percent of the 200 pages (I did the math) are a “Further Listening” chapter that lists several studio albums you should hear, because someone who just read 180 pages about Cornell probably needs to be told about Blues for Allah.
I’m certainly not going to mention the padding.: the ten pages on the history of audience taping in a book about a show that got famous from the SBD; the chapter on Bear and the Wall of Sound; the extended anecdote about the author’s recent trip to Bobby’s TRI Studios.
Wonder if I could just flip open at random and find padding? Let’s see.
…
Yup: two pages on the guy who runs Rhino Records
Thank God I’m not writing about this book; there’s nothing to write about. Go to your local library, Enthusiasts, or shoplift this book.
before you start your day, you should sit at your desk (the one with the genitals in the wood grain) and say, “Word-cock, word-cock! Ya got it, use it!
like a pre-game cheer you see. maybe you do this already?
“Florida man fired for chanting Word-Cock at desk”