Hey, Pig. Whatcha doing?
“Blowin’ my harp, an’ lookin’ sharp!”
Right on both counts. How many instruments did you play?
“Ain’t never played none of ’em. It’s serious business! You wanna play, you get you a hula hoop an’ a Betsy-Wetsy doll!”
Also true. Y’know, Lee should’ve totally paid you to endorse their jeans.
“We are in no way conflicted in our opinions! In fact, I called over to their offices once t’see if we could put into place the very agreement you spoke of.”
“The ol’ Pig don’t lie! I rang ’em up, got some mucketymuck on the line, an’ I got t’ castigatin’! You’re ignorin’ the longhair market, I tells the suit. You gotta appeal to the dopers, I continue. They don’t wear nothin’ but jeans! It’s what y’call a captive market, Captain Capitalist! That’s what I said to the man.”
How’d he respond?
He hung up on you?
“After some rather imaginative oaths!”
Win some, lose some.
“An’ I didn’t let the interaction sour me on the pants! They’re made of sturdy stuff, plus they make the ol’ Pig’s ass look 30% more grabbable than it naturally is.”
You had it going on, man. Lemme ask you something.
Do I have a civic duty to watch the debate tonight?
“Hell, no. Get your load on an’ watch some Bugs Bunny. Payin’ attention t’ politicians only encourages ’em.”
Pig, you’re the wisest man I know.
“You should meet more people!”