None More Canadian

Wow.

“Hey, hoser.”

This is very on-brand for you.

“I’m flying a lot of flags here, eh?”

You are. I am assuming this is a hockey game.

“No. This is Shickerbock, the traditional Canadian summer gathering. We assemble in huge groups and celebrate our Canadian natures.”

How?

“Hockey game.”

Sure.

“And our native dances, performances, and musical acts.”

So…hockey games and Rush?

“In Toronto, yeah. But, as you can see, we’re in Winnipeg. We got the singer with the deep voice from Crash Test Dummies.”

I don’t think any of this is true.

“It’s the greatest of all Canadian holidays. Better than Canadian Halloween, anyway.”

Why?

“Everyone goes as Gretzky. At this point, we should just rename it Dress Like Gretzky Day. But, yeah: Shickerbock is a laugh. All sorts of rides and games and attractions. Last year, we saw the Dionne Quints.”

They’re still alive?

“Two are. We stayed for the feeding. Amazing what nature can do, eh?”

None of this is real. You’re fibbing to foreigners.

“We go every year. Me, my wife–”

Regina.

“and Gordie, Girl Gordie, Jean-Luc, Northstar, Fleece, and the twins Billie and Mickie.”

Your children.

“Just love it. Chance to get out and meet your neighbors, be appropriately proud of one’s nation’s accomplishments while acknowledging that historical wrongs took place and actively working to correct the outcomes of those iniquities, and see fancy chickens. You ever see a fancy chicken? Not a humdrum chicken, mind you. Feathers all over the place, colors like you wouldn’t believe, real fancy chicken. You ever seen one of those?”

I don’t think so.

“You owe it to yourself.”

Sure. What’s 2019 look like for the Dead’s official releases?

“Four Dave’s Picks shows, plus a small box and maaaaaaybe a surprise thing, but don’t count on it.”

Why a small box?

“Because this year’s box cost a million dollars.”

Good point.

“We’re watching the store, man.”

True. Hey, what does “Shickerbock” mean? Is it German?

“No. It’s a First Nations word that means ‘Stop stealing our children.’ But it sounded so cool that we named the fair that.”

Language is a funny thing.