Thoughts On The Dead

Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Not Sweating It

You playing for Metallica now?

“Oh, hey, Ass. I wear black on the outside because black is how I feel on the inside.”

What’s up, slugger?

“Net Brutality. They’re gonna take all the snuff films off the web?”

Neutrality, Billy.

“Oh. Then I don’t give a shit.”

Shocked. How’s the tour going?

“Well, we didn’t get the tour of the Capitol we were promised.”

Yes, the Senator from Shakedown Street is a bit occupied these days.

“I’m not making his mistake.”

Groping women?

“No, running for office.”


“I don’t need anyone vetting me.”

You vetted yourself, Billy. The book.

“Heh. Yeah. I left shit out.”

How much?

“Like, 90%. Like an iceberg made of skank and cocaine.”


“I’m sticking to this gig. Besides, you heard about the RRSP?”

The Remaining Rock Stars Protocols? Of course.

“There you go. There’s a clause in it that voids your protections if you get some other job.”

Like if Paul Stanley hosted Extreme Home Makeover?

“Exactly. Not smart right now to draw too much mainstream attention. Everyone’s hunkering down in their fan bases.”

The sea is stormy, but you’ll weather through.

“I’ve been getting away with it for this long.”



  1. I know you’re making fun of it, but +1000000 Louder Than Bombs.

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      November 22, 2017 at 11:53 pm

      I never got The Smiths. Roommates played ’em in college, and I never got ’em.

      • Such waste. I went to college in the rust belt, and had to not get roommates’ Tool and Our Lady Peace.

        • Thoughts On The Dead

          November 22, 2017 at 11:59 pm

          The worst I was exposed to was 311. I swear to God that these were all decent human beings, but they all loved that shitty-sounding band.

          • That one song that got all reggae and auto-wah for 30 seconds on the verse? Yeah.

            It’s interesting to know what music speaks to other atypical Deadheads. Presumptuous, but for argument’s sake I draw that line between people who like most any hippie bullshit, and people who don’t. The Grateful Dead have a lot to offer, apparently – they work in your universe where Kiss is acceptable, and in mine where Morrissey is gotten with enthusiasm.

  2. Yeah- that feed tonite had an angle that didn’t do Billy any favors.

    ps- Morrissey is a pussy.

    • Morrissey is a racist, misogynist crackpot who deserves, at best, to play the same concert circuit as Lee Greenwood and Ted Nugent. The only reason he’s not booked at the Tri-State Fair in Amarillo is the cognitive dissonance inherent in Gen-X Enthusiasm.

      • Eh… you can like or dislike whatever you want. Chalking a “disagree” up to an entire generation’s “cognitive dissonance,” and the accompanying presumption that everyone shares your nondistinction between art and artist, is dickish.

  3. notes from Hartford from an Enthusiast

    Pancho Villa Bobby is getting close to peak walrus
    Mickey is not wearing a wig and is in the least Grateful Dead outfit he has ever worn
    Billy all in black – hat, shirt, pants, all solid black
    Black Phil – oteil’s bass is really more jade than teal
    Joshie – long sleeve t-shirt appears metal and asymmetrical from the front while also like a commemorative shirt you got at a 10k while drippy steely in the back tucked into high wasted skinny girl pants with shoes that can only be explained as aqua socks meet Fila, the Miami edition
    Veterans memorial is like Rosemont, but possibly a little smaller and less glamorous
    Chementi likely has a tremendous comic book collection
    Fall tour is…………… different

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