- 65 pounds of rained-on mulch.
- That lady from Oakland who called the cops on the barbecue.
- Burt Reynolds’ brain implanted into a giant praying mantis mech.
- A sponge that’s been soaking in rabies.
- Glasya-Labolas, Author of Blood.
- Pennywise.
- Daphne Zuniga. (I’m of two minds on this one. On one hand, Daphne Zuniga doesn’t get enough work. On the other, I am a fan of the woman’s, and don’t want her anywhere near the President. Oh, God, I hope she hasn’t turned into a Trump person. How terrible would that be if Daphne Zuniga pulled a James Woods? I can’t bare to look. Okay, I looked: Daphne Zuniga was born in Berkeley and sits on a bunch of environmental group’s boards. Phew.)
- Woman from a Bangkok sex show who shoots ping-pong balls at April Ryan.
- A hand-lettered sign reading “Cuz fuck all y’all, that’s why.”
- Jeff Dunham & Achmed the Dead Terrorist.
- 18 turds in a 14-turd sack.
- Toe-spiders. (There are either spiders that live in your toes, or spiders with human toes for legs. I haven’t decided.)
If this comedy doesn’t work out, you could just try horror. “Toe Spiders?” Yeash.
It will probably be Kayleigh McEnany, Katrina Pierson or some other Fox News regular, but I definitely vote for the Oakland BBQ whiner(known as BBQ Becky). She is fat, white and full of grievance. Seems a perfect fit for Emperor Drain the Swamp. She even looks a bit like Sarah Huckabooboo. This video never gets old. If only Marshawn Lynch could have been there:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXzdzKDoGLM
?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_H4Y3YdstdE
this goes well with Truckin’ Europe ’72 in the headphones.