Aw, man. What did I tell you about using the Time Sheath to quarantine in the past?
“It’s much more fun here. Much more crowded.”
Yeah, there’s no pandemic in…when are you?
“Early 2000’s, I think. Did, uh, we ever decide what to call that decade?”
As a society, we still have not come to a consensus.
“Maybe you should use the time indoors to think one up. Get that problem dealt with.”
Please stop hopping back in time every time you feel cooped-up. You might bring the ronus with you. And you can’t definitely can’t give it to Anthony Kiedis. That guy would make Patient Zero look like Emily Dickinson.
“He’s friendly. Not much of a fan of the Rooty-Tooty Booty Scooters, but he’s congenial as all get out. Warm conversationalist.”
Yes, and when he leaves your presence, he will go an fuck an entire AA meeting. The man’s a vector.
“What about Woody?”
Does he shake hands or hug?
“The embraces are deep and intimate.”
Stay away from him, too. Like, 80% of carriers are asymptomatic. You might be sick and not know it, and now you’re infecting the temporal stream. This is the kinda shit that draws Time Cops.
“Woody said it was okay.”
Don’t tell Woody Harrelson you have a Time Sheath.
“Oh, he’s known for years.”
CELL PHONE NOISE
“Hold on. It might be myself from quarantine.”
What?
…
“Weir here.”
“Here, too.”
“I’ve been expecting this call. You left the remote in the kitchen.”
…
“Yup, here it is. Tell Woody I say hi.”
“Will do.”
DIAL TONE NOISE EVEN THOUGH PHONES NO LONGER DO THAT
…
That was fucking weird.
“Time travel’s a real puzzler.”
The decade is called The Naughties.