Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Random Thoughts Upon My Fourth (Maybe Fifth) Spin Of Dave’s Pick 29

They should play this music for at-risk youths. Get caught shoplifting? Truant? Hijack a school bus and ram it into a ghost mall? What if, instead of disciplining these children, we sat with them and smoked thicc doobies with them and cranked the shit out of 2/26/77 at them? What a world that would be.


No other species invented Prog Rock. David Attenborough won’t shut the fuck up about cuttlefish, but they’re just smart squid and none of their songs take up the whole side of the album.


The Sugaree is not titanic. Naked I stand, bald and po-faced and dulled before THE LORD, for He is Good, and I may neither prevaricate nor equivocate:

This Sugaree, LORD? It is just pretty good!

Do not blame the Sugaree. At barely over 11 minutes, it is among the shorter of 1977’s renditions, and I think we can all agree that 11 minutes are not enough minutes due a Sugaree of proper pedigree. That’s like ripping the baby from the womb mixed with post-birth abortion. That’s what Democrats want: short Sugarees and no more Christian babies.


The Eyes>Dancing transition is surely amongst the Best EVAR rankings. Phil does some downright mathematical shit to get from here to there.


Disco Dancing is the superior Dancing arrangement. They played it all herky-jerky real early, and then the number dropped from the repertoire, only to come sniffling back in ’76 all tooted up in glam and glitter. The Dead never played funk music, but they did on occasion get within pissing distance of funky.

AND it had that risey-descendy riff on either side of the jam, and the jam would be so pure and right and disco-dancey. Garcia, often, would engage his Mu-Tron pedal and so his guitar would be all MWAH MWAH MWEE MWOO and that is such a tasty sound, verily.

AND they fucked up the intro every time, which makes me happy. You can start Dancing in the Streets two ways: Dancin’, dancin’, dancin’ in the street or jumping right into the verse with Callin’ out around the world. Neither way is superior to the other. You just need to choose one. The Grateful Dead, or at least the singing Grateful Deads, did not choose. Instead, they fucked it up every time. Garcia and Mrs. Donna Jean would sing Callin’, and Bobby would sing Dancin’, or variations thereof.

When Keith was replaced by Brent and Mrs. Donna Jean was also replaced by Brent, the slick arrangement of the Motown classic remained. As did the confusion centering around the intro: now, sometimes Brent and Bobby would sing Callin’ and Garcia would sing Dancin‘. Same shit, different keyboardist.

AND when they brought the song back in 1984, it was a pointless slog played like a half-drunk bar mitzvah band.

If you think about it, the Dead’s disco tunes are the real punk rock.


If 2/26/77 has any faults, it is that it may be too good. Also, the blackface worn to several Halloween parties. So, 2/26/77’s faults are: 1, being too good; 2, culturally-sanctioned racism.


It’s true: the Grateful Dead’s most creative years were the 1980’s, and the reason that more shows from that era haven’t been released is that David Lemieux has a personal grudge against you for a comment you made in a Usenet forum in 2007. You were right, and you should stop taking your medicine.


David Lemieux and Jeffrey Norman deserve blowjobs. No particular person owes them one, but a beej is karmically destined for both. Go listen to DaP 29 again. Witness the meatiness. Now go listen to live releases from other bands while smashing your own hand with a hammer. Which one’s the more pleasurable experience? And that’s from a work tape! We should really get Betty in on this blowjob thing. Someone slobber Betty’s johnson.


To compare the Playing>Wheel>Playing to Saladin the Great would not be unfruitful.

8 Comments

  1. Dave davis

    Kind of like best review ever ish

  2. ritchie vanian

    disco fucking sucks.
    the dead doing disco is an abomination.
    do not besmirch punk rock’s good name by laying that bogus shit you tried.

    • Paula Morgan

      Yeah, but no. He’s right, it is punk rock.

      • mikemj

        I can’t get enough of Disco Dancin’. I enjoy the tune in all three GD variations but Disco Dancin’ is a step above.

  3. Dave Froth

    Damn!

  4. Luther Von Baconson

    is good review.

    forgo or forego all grudges

  5. Bry

    The copy on Archive is pretty good. what’s my motivation?

  6. ReadingDoonesbury

    It’s true: the Grateful Dead’s most creative years were the 1980’s,

    That’s some first-rate trolling, right there.

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