“…no one could use that bathroom for a couple of weeks. They had to get one of those companies that cleans up crime scenes to come out. Hell of a thing.”
Bobby, what are you doing?
“Pontificating. But, you know, without the hat. Or the child abuse. Sometimes I wear a hat, though. But never the child abuse. You shouldn’t even compare those two things, really.”
True.
“Big on hats, the Catholics. And, uh, the Jews. Their hats aren’t as big. Just as holy, apparently.”
Bobby, why are you giving a speech?
“Because my mime work is sub-par at best. At best.”
I don’t even know what that–
“Bobby! Hey, buddy! We talking hats?”
“We were covering a lot of subjects, Birdy.”
“Benjy.”
“Okay.”
“Bobby, I know hats. When it comes to hats, I make Holly Bowling look like an amateur.”
“That’s a bold statement.”
“I’ll back it up. Watch what happens when I take this one off.”
HAT REMOVING NOISE
“Huh. There’s another one under there.”
“Hats all the way down, man! Let’s join podiums.”
“I don’t know about that.”
“C’mon. It’s not gay. We’ll touch tips.”
“I don’t want to touch tips, Booboo.”
“Benjy.”
“Okay.”
PYROTECHNIC NOISE!
“What, uh, the hell was that?”
“I heard we were having a podium party.”
Okay, this has gotten stupid.
“I agree.”
Which one of you said that?
“Me.”
“Me.”
“Me.”
Sounds right.
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