You weren’t really a church in Medieval Europe unless you had some relics. What was the point in sending all those belligerent rich kids to Jerusalem if they weren’t going to yoink some merch? (For those of you keeping track: yes, that is the first time the Crusades have been referred to as a “merch yoink.”) Bigger the cathedral, the more important the souvenir, too: locks of His hair for county parishes, knuckle bones for the city venues. Pilgrims would come from miles away, and they didn’t mind a two-indulgence minimum, either.
Anything to be closer to Him, right?
I need someone who knew Garcia to explain this shit, because I cannot live in a world where Jerry Garcia was one of those psychos who don’t have a brand. Were the Merits (which were filtered) the “snack” cigarettes, and the Camels and Pall Malls (both unfiltered) the “meals?” Were the Merits the downstairs cocaine, and he handed ’em out to randos and bummers? Why the fuck would you have Camels AND Pall Malls? Why the fuck would you buy hard packs AND soft packs?
That is my question here: Why the fuck? To all of this, I say: Why the fuck?
They didn’t sell. Guess Shapiro was saving his money for Lot 49: “A Jerry Garcia wad of crumpled-up tin foil with brownish residue on it.”
Which band had the most lefties in it? I can’t think of any with more than one southpaw player. (Not counting natural lefties who learned to play right-handed because left-handed guitars were tough to find and/or more expensive.)
Valued Commentator JES sends in this pic in re: the Leslie ranking. Enthusiasts over the age of two will count seven–SEVEN–Leslie speakers behind the vocalist/flautist/organist/muttonchoppist of Dutch band Focus, Thijs van Leer. I gotta be honest with you: there’s such a thing as being too European. Even the Dead wouldn’t pull this shit; it’s just unAmerican*, man.
Are the British still European? I think that question is being answered on a moment-to-moment basis this week. The island of Britain sits on the same tectonic plate as the Continent, and that’s not gonna change, but every other facet of the query is up for grabs.
Garcia’s briefcase isn’t the only attraction we’ve brought with us! Come on down to Garcia’s at the Cap™ Forest and see more of our collection! We have:
Montgomery Clift’s windshield!
Natalie Woods’ life preserver!
One pair baby shoes, never worn (from Sharon Tate)!
The pickle that accompanied Mama Cass’ ham sandwich!
Book on knot-tying that belonged to Michael Hutchence!
Gram Parson’s skeleton!
That’s right! Garcia’s at the Cap™ has the the bones of legendary country/rock musician Gram Parsons! His friends stole his body and buried him in the desert, and then we dug him up and mounted him! For you to look at while you drink $11 beers!
Garcia’s at the Cap™! Come on down!
That was where he kept his death. He carried his death around, and took out a little bit at a time. That briefcase was where he kept his death.*
And you hung it on the wall like a trophy.
* Garcia kept all of his death in there. The narcotics, obviously, but you know he also had his Camels and some cookies in there.