Tag: Pigpen (Page 1 of 20)

“Anythin’ work right when you’re at?”

Less and less by the day.

“Shouldn’t take no week t’ find out who the President is! Y’vote in th’ mornin’, and Walter Cronkite tells ya who won durin’ Prime Time. That’s how it goes! It’s in the Constitution!”

Is it?

“Maybe the Bible. Rules are rules, that’s the ol’ Pig’s point.”

It’s a good point.

“I’ve been known t’ hit upon the odd universal truth!”

True.

“Well, no matter how messy it was, y’got the desirable outcome.”

Were you supporting Joe Biden?

“Hell, no! Y’can’t support politicians, it only encourages ’em! Though I might make an exception f’r the Vice Fox!”

Please don’t call Kamala Harris “the Vice Fox.”

“Vice Fox-Elect!”

Not better.

“Don’t be policin’ the ol’ Pig’s phraseologies!”

Sorry. Any more political thoughts?

“Black Panthers got a real good plan.”

Keep the faith, Pig.

“Easier said than done! But it’s doable.”

“Where you been, boy? Feelin’ sorry for yo’self some more?”

Yeah.

“Whiskey’ll help that! Some folks bother Th’ Lord, but the ol’ Pig figures He’s too busy for my piddlin’ nonsense.”

I cannot abide spirits, Pig.

“How ’bout a feisty negress?”

We’ve talked about that phrase.

“The ol’ Pig will pronouncify in his own way! Don’t try reconstructin’ me. I died in 1973, dammit!”

I know, I know.

“You wake up this mornin’?”

Yeah.

“Then you’re doin’ better’n a lotta folks! You got sugar f’r your coffee?”

I do.

“Then you’re doin’ better’n most everybody! You got th’ blues, then let ’em out! Can’t be lettin’ the blues fester!”

You’re always right, Pig.

“Someone’s gotta be!”

Hey, Pig. Who’s that?

“That ain’t a ‘who.’ That’s a ‘what.’ And what that is, is a rando.”

Ew.

“The ol’ Pig jus’ seems t’attract ’em! Mus’ be my sav-wah fair!”

You do have a lot of that.

“Too much! Can’t mosey on down to the liquor store without lookin’ like the Pied Piper! Jus’ wanna buy me a taste, an’ all of a sudden my wake’s full o’ weirdos an’ strange-types an’ sploinky-doinks!”

Sploinky-doinks?

“That’s them hippies who don’t never wear shoes. I calls ’em that cuz that’s the sound their feet make on th’ sidewalk.”

Bobby turns into one of them.

“Well, he ain’t at th’ moment! Ain’t havin’ that in th’ organization! The ol’ Pig puts his foot down when it comes t’ feet!”

Hey, I agree totally.

“Even th’ foxes gotta put on some shoes. Some, they walk around the city all day nothin’ in between their soles and all that nitty-gritty! Bottoms of their feet lookin’ like someone left a tire patch kit sittin’ on the radiator.”

Gross.

“The ol’ Pig won’t abide it.”

Always nice checking in with you, Pig.

“I’m a fountain of yes in a world made outta no.”

God bless you.

“Yes, he did.”

“There’s a time for ev’rything, but that don’t mean ev’rything happens at the right time. You follow?”

Yeah.

“Birthdays come ’round real regular. Baseball season, I guess. Rest o’ life doesn’t announce itself.”

You okay, buddy?

“The ol’ Pig is in some damn dramatic lighting!”

I can tell.

“Makin’ me all meaningful like I got oracles in my belfry!”

You were very good at it.

“The ol’ Pig’s good at lots of stuff.”

Like what?

“Drinkin’!”

Sure.

“Havin’ the blues!”

Yes.

“Pullin’ my motorcycle off to the side of the road when I see a fox, and givin’ her my rap!”

Also correct.

“It’s a good life, if ya don’t weaken.”

You always tell the truth, Pig.