Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Three Coins In A Fountain That Was Not Made By The Hands Of Man

“Heard those rooty-toots were here last year.”

Rooty-toots?

“Those scooby-snacker. The dopers, for Christ’s sake! The dopers!”

The Grateful Dead?

“Whatever they call themselves. I call ’em bums. The people pay good money to see you. Y’gotta class it up for ’em. Buy a tuxedo, get a new hairpiece, put some effort into your presentation. Blue jeans! They wear their blue jeans!”

That’s what they’re comfortable in, Mr. Sinatra.

“I’m comfortable with my bird in a hooker! I don’t do it onstage, capice? There’s a time and a place!”

Yes, sir. I see you’re playing the Pyramids.

“We’re doing it for peace. And, uh, Jerry Weintraub set it up, and he’s the best.”

Sure.

“Big Sally! Pop this prick!”

LONELY DISEASED WEIRDO GETTING PUNCHED IN THE JAW BY A LEGENDARY CROONER’S GOON NOISE

Ow! Why would you do that?

“That’s what I do!”

Yeah, I guess.

 

 

9 Comments

  1. Jim Spies

    New character?

  2. JES

    Future Installments?

    “Fly Me To The Mountains of the Moon”
    “New Potato, New Potato”
    “My Help On The Way”
    “What A Long Stranger In The Night”
    “It Was A Very Good Lovin'”

  3. Cube

    Jack the Straw (or Jack-a-Roe the Knife, if you’d rather)
    One More Saturday Night is the Loneliest Night of the Week
    Eyes of the World on a String
    Young at Foolish Heart
    Feel Like a Strangers in the Night

  4. JES

    “Oh What A Beautiful Mornin’ Dew”
    “Ol’ Man Big River”
    “Have Yourself A Merry Little Schoolgirl”
    “Don’t Ease All Of Me In”
    “Begin The Begonias”
    “The Days of Skull and Roses”

    (The song catalogs are both so immense that’s there’s loads of fun to had with this one . . . )

  5. MJK

    ok, cut. we got everything we need mr Sinatra. “christ my balls are baking in this heat, how do these towel heads do it, especially running around wearing those blankets for christ sake. Jilly, where is that drink? if the ice is melting someone is going to pay. i come to sing in this f-ing desert so Barbara can see the f-ing pile of rocks behind me and i have to wait for a goddamn drink with no ice? who’s running the goddamn show around here? Jilly tell that f-ing towel head blanket wearing f–k that if i cant get a f-king Johnny Walker black with a couple of ice cubes when i f-ing ask for it then we are packing it all up and heading back to the states. they all can go f-ck a camel as far as i’m concerned. what, do they think we are like the hippies who were here last year smoking grass and running around barefoot? what the hell is that sh-t?” but i digress

    • Thoughts On The Dead

      This is all correct except for the Johnny Walker. Even when Frank had money for decent whiskey, he drank Jack Daniels.

  6. MJK

    my recommendation for TOtD for tonight is Ollin Arageed played on a loop, all night. i always enjoyed it. but last night, after smoking heavily and some drinks i had a revelation, somewhat like when first discovering the Dead. holy shit. I think Uncle Bobo said his favorite moment of all his time with the Dead was standing on the side of the stage in Egypt watching this moment. the clapping to a time they only understand and the melody is almost too perfect for Garcia to accent and float over. its outstanding. do it TOtD, you will feel better. get nice first. MK

  7. Luther Von Baconson

    Keep your hands up LDW! Protect yer face!

  8. saladman8283

    Someone told FAS he was booked to play The Sands. Oops!

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