Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Month: August 2013 (Page 13 of 20)

Bob Weir And A Mailbox And A Dog

bobby mailbox

Between tours, Bobby waits down at the end of the street for the mailman. He brings Otis with him, and they tell each other stories about what the mailman could possibly be up to.

Was he delivering birthday cards to lonely grandmas, so far away from their families?

Did he have a letter of acceptance into college, or a job offer?

Was he helping orphans in any way, perhaps with kung fu?

Bobby and Otis talked about these things every morning while they waited for the mailman to arrive, which he did promptly at 10:15.

And every morning the mailman would shout. “WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?! AGAIN?!” because Otis had bitten that man right on his ass. “LEASH YOUR DOG, YOU FUCKING ROCK STAR PRICK!”

And then, Bobby and Otis head home, stopping off occasionally at neighbors’ lawns to pee (Otis) or poop (Otis and Bobby).

Dark Horse

The comments over at Dead.net are a constant source of fun. In their defense, they seem like nice enough guys and they pay enough attention to their grammar for my head not to explode, but they’ve groupthought themselves into a frothing pout over the lack–the DEARTH, fucker!–of product from the 1980’s.

Picasso had his blue period. The Dead had a period that blew.

Actually, two: Garcia’s rebirth, combined with Phil remembering he was in a band somewhere around ’87, gave them a few years of grace; they sizzle and smoke on, say, the MSG shows from ’88. Then Brent went and Garcia got so much smaller after that, suffering that old fate of Ophelia.

To hear the lunatics over there, you’d think there actually was a Big Dead trying to keep the fact that 1983 was the band’s peak under wraps.

Um, there IS actually a Big Dead trying–

No.

to keep the…No, what?

No, I believe in Big Dead. You’re the voice of reason in these little sketches. Normal-type guy says something kooky and then you, Italics Man, contradict me.

You’re right.

I know I’m right. Read your fucking script, man.

I am such a–fuck, I’m gonna go.

Maybe you should, yeah.

Are..you..going to–

You have NO IDEA what it’s like to work with this guy, man!

I can dig it.

I’m going to my imaginary trailer.

That’s five, everybody!

Phil? More!

A little something for a Sunday night. You could always watch TV, or whatever substitutes for it nowadays, but it’s the Dog Days; we must pay Sirius his due for our frivolity and there is Nothing On. The NFL has begun its yearly forced march through the pre-season, where the only fun is watching other teams’ stars get irrevocably broken for no reason whatsoever. Knees and hamstrings are like non-toilet trained children: when they wanna, go, they go.  I always did have an odd respect for people, place, and things that didn’t even play at being reasonable. Infants, lunatics, transmissions: your plans mean nothing to them.

Maybe that’s part of the appeal with the Dead? Not only did they not take requests, they didn’t take requests lightly. Like, even Garcia, reputedly the most gracious out of the lot, had pointed barbs out whenever the peanut gallery started acting up. The Grateful Dead heckled the audience back. This is rare in the show business industry.

Tonight’s a classic: The Fillmore East, from 2/11/70.  So much Phil: there are 35 or 40 people on the stage–3 keyboardists and 5-and-a-half drummers and Allman brothers and Fleetwoods and Macs and Jay-Z comes out during the Spanish Jam to drop a verse about how well things are going for him and it’s STILL ALL ABOUT MOTHERFUCKING PHILBERT J. LESH, MY BAKED BRO-TATO.

It’s pointless and distracting and masturbatory rock nerd bullshit to go through the entire roster of who was there, of the woof and weft of what happened that night, so leave at it this:

That night lasted until well into the next morning.

For some there, that night lasted for the rest of their lives.

« Older posts Newer posts »