Month: March 2016 (Page 19 of 25)

Possible T-Shirt Ideas: a draft.

If it’s a draft, then why are you bothering the nice people with it?

You and I both know there’s gonna be a half-decent dick joke or two in here.

Your threshold of quality is industry-leading.

Well: hey, man. Hey. Whoa. Hey.

…

Yes?

I have no argument: I just need you to stop being mean to me.

When the student is not wrong, then the student is not beaten.

You’re not a Buddhist.

My participation in an ethos has nothing to do with my acceptance of said ethos. I’m not really a joiner.

May I get on with it?

Try not to strain yourself.

Before I so rudely interrupted myself, I was saying – T-Shirt Ideas:

• TotD logo. (I’m getting to it, I’m getting to it.)
• TotD logo with a clever and pithy piece of writing, most probably containing the phrase “semi-defunct choogly-type band.”
• (Wait: a t-shirt with “Grateful Dead /ˈgrāt-fəl ded/ proper noun – A semi-defunct choogly-type band.” would be awesome and I would buy that. Okay, someone remember that.)
• Plain black and I’ll say it’s in honor of Garcia.
• Oh, they did that?
• In their defense, it came with a remastered Jerry Band show from ’81 with Phil on bass.
• But still.
• Snake T-shirt.
• Madonna shirt.
• Shirt made from different fabrics that argues with itself.
• One of those mesh jobbies that dudes who hung out in parking lots in the 80’s wore, with a peeling applique of chubby 1984 Phil on the front.
• Pictures of Billy and Mickey, but they’re printed under the armpits so if you have your hands in your pockets, you can walk right through customs; but raise ’em in the air, and everyone will know you don’t care.
• Promotional shirts from Little Aleppo: Creepy Ernie’s, Big-Dicked Sheila, those other stores I lost interest in quickly. (Good Idea #2.)
• Wall of Sound 2016. (Good Idea #3, but I gotta get on that pretty quickly.)
• Shitty tour shirt from a shitty tour in a shitty year, but it costs $420.
• What if the garment were made from spaghetti and meatballs, so if a survival situation broke out, you could eat it?
• What if the shirt were trousers?
• What kind of things could I say about Jeff Chimenti on a t-shirt before the authorities got involved?
• There’s a glut of Garcia merch, but not much Vince stuff; maybe that’s a niche I could exploit.
• Speaking of Garcia, how about a shot of him with “Harry Mendoza Forever” in a cool, retro, hippy font underneath?
• …
• Fuck it: Harry Mendoza is Good Idea #4.
• I did not expect my ideas to be so good that they would need to be capitalized, but there you have it.
• Magic Eye print, which forces people to stare at your chest for a long time. (This is for perverts, but perverts are people, too, and I’ll sell them bullshit if they want to buy it.)
• Precarious Lee will make his debut, I would assume. (Good Idea #5.)
• I’m not sure whether technology has gotten here yet, but I will see if you can put a GIF on a shirt, and if you can:
• 
• With, like, “Weir Here” under it.
• You’d buy that.
• You’d buy the fuck out of that.
• I don’t think you can engiffinate a garment, though, but I’ll google it.
• There will be no tie-dye, I need to make that crystal clear upfront: you can do what you want with your wardrobe, but I won’t be associated with hippie camouflage.
• Billy’s face, but his name spelled with only one “n” and you have to find him and wear it in front of him.
• Group shot of Dead & Co, but Oteil is misidentified as Branford Marsalis. (I’ll sell you this shirt, but you can’t wear it; just buy it and put it right up in the Problem Attic.)
• Obscure Dead bullshit: Club Front staff shirt, Mickey and the Hartbeats ’68 Tour shirt, Ned Lagin Fan Club shirt, “Lenny Hart is my Accountant” shirt.
• This:
•