• The media, which is unfair
  • The carnival, which is also unfair, but in a different way.
  • NBC, CBS, and ABC.
  • The cable news networks.
  • The Washington Post and the New York Times.
  • All the other newspapers.
  • The cyber.
  • Radio talk show hosts.
  • Let’s just say that every possible medium of technology is conspiring against Donald Trump.
  • The Democratic party.
  • The Republican party.
  • The Clinton campaign.
  • His own campaign.
  • Mexican billionaire Carlos Slim.
  • Canadian billionaire Gordon Fatass.
  • China.
  • ISIS, which Hillary founded.
  • The company that makes Swiffers.
  • The polls.
  • The Poles.
  • Women who are horrible and unattractive.
  • Men who are disloyal and weak.
  • Illuminati.
  • Philluminati. (You’ll all remember the Philluminati, Phil’s secret organization that runs the world.)
  • Billuminati. (You’ll also remember the Billuminati, the group Billy started to annoy Phil.)
  • Chronoburglars stealing time whenever we blink.
  • Globalists.
  • International bankers.
  • The New York elite, led by Michael Bloomberg.
  • Shadowy financiers whose allegiance lies only with their tribe.
  • Hollywood producers.
  • Diamond merchants.
  • Zionists.
  • Listen, do I have to come right out and say it?