And now the internet outrage-ophiles and slacktivists and SJW’s (Single Jewish Women) have come for Cam Newton, proving once again that it is the vile and vicious Communist Left that are the true racists. When a man in America dares to use critical thinking, science, and logic to work through a problem, he is immediately set upon by free speech-hating, brain-washed, bike lock-wielding radicals desperate to prove their worth by virtue signalling their morality, instead of discussing the ideas set forth in a rational manner.

In a press conference today, Mr. Newton (who is the quarterback of the Carolina Panthers, which proves racism is a thing of the past) was asked a question by a girl reporter, most likely an under-qualified diversity hire. It was, I believe, a “gotcha” question designed to push the radical feminist SJW (Slutty Jerky Wimple-wearers) agenda of a borderless world. Mr. Newton responded, LIKE THE FIRST AMENDMENT SAYS HE CAN, and the dishonest media peddled yet another divisive narrative.

Never was Mr. Newton’s point, which was that women are incapable of understanding football, debated. No studies were provided to back up arguments, no were any sources linked to. I will not even begin to list the logical fallacies committed today.

The truth that SJW’s (Sloppy Juicy Wampas) want to censor is that women are incapable of fully understanding football, at least on a professional level. This is proven by biology: if women were meant to comprehend football, then they would be big enough to play it. Women also produce up to 60% more oxytocin than men; this leads to bonding with their opponents rather than tackling them.

Specifically, the question the “reporter” asked was about receiver routes. She gives herself up here, she tries too hard. Think of the complexity of a football route! You can go left. You can go right. You can run straight as fast as you can. Women can sew buttons, but understand a buttonhook?

It is a sad day in America when opinions are simply dismissed outright rather than being argued in good faith. Cam Newton says that the presence of a vagina precludes a human from understanding a game that is essentially tackle-catch, and I think we should hear him out. We should schedule the debate for the first week in February; I’m sure he’ll be free.