Happy Halloweir

“…and, uh, the next morning, the teens found a hook stuck into the top of their car.”

What are you doing, Bobby?

“It’s Scary Story Season. So I lit up the ol’ campfire and started spinning some spooky yarns.”

You lit a campfire?

“I had Matt Busch do it. ”

Sure.

“He missed his calling. Could’ve been a great arsonist. Y’blink your eyes and boom: fire. But, uh, he only uses his powers for good.”

Matt’s an ethical man.

“And he cares about the environment. Won’t use a disposable lighter.”

Wow.

“Lotta fun at the campfire. We got Super S’mores.”

What are Super S’mores?

“Y’take s’mores-flavored Pop Tarts and use ’em as the bread in the sweetness sandwich. It’s gooey as all get out, but your mouth’ll thank you.”

Sounds delicious. What’s your favorite ghost story?

“I like the one where the call is coming from up your own ass. Y’know: you’re alone and the phone rings and the voice is all I’m gonna slice ya or whatever and so you call the police, and they trace the call and they’re like The call’s coming from your in your butt! Love that one.”

The call’s coming from in the house, Bobby.

“Yeah, sure. Your butt’s in the house, so the call’s technically coming from inside the house.”

No, it’s…forget it.

“Forget what?”

Don’t worry about it.