Help me, Enthusiasts: you’re my only hope.
If you’re still hazarding a trek out, thank you; I know the entrance way has become dangerous-looking and sketchy. I hope I do not give you computer-AIDS, or even computer-herpes.
Here’s what’s happened: some time in between midnight and 9:00 am on 5/2, gremlins got into the machine. Commentator JES noticed it first; on his machine, the usual “Searching for DDOS” page that briefly appears before my front page was not appearing, instead replaced some scam-fuck bullshit called “Windows Defender.” On mobile, the problem was similar: a redirection to sites of a dubious nature. These sketchy attempted kidnappings cease upon reloading the page, but this is no way to live. The house must be put right.
The company who hosts the site, Green Geeks, is as you would expect claiming no responsibility. They sent me this:
The sucuri.net site they alluded to (which has been vouched for by a very trusted colleague) showed me, in part, this:
Green Geeks then sent this, which I’m sure they thought was helping:
I don’t need to tell you that I have no fucking idea what any of this means, do I?
My point is this: please help me. One of you must know what this means, and I am asking kindly–just about begging, if we’re honest–for you to help me. I don’t even need for you to explain what happened, just present me with a simplified list of what I must do now. Or–and this is my preference–you could take care of it for me. Please help me because I need help. Help now. Make with the helping.
Thx.
Change your password(s). I recommend getting a password manager like keepassx and have it generate a long and confusing password for you.
Depending on how you created your site, are there source .js files you used? In simpler terms: did you use someone else’s files/setup for things like the comments, your links, etc? Re-download those files from whatever source you originally got them from, so that they are clean
Run a few anti-virus scans, both on your local computer and the host server (if possible). There are a few decent cheap programs out there (malware bytes is a classic), and others will have free trials. Don’t use one of those web-based “scans” that says you have 5,742 problems in a flashing red banner, and can only fix them if you pony up cash.
For safety sake, give me your credit card number, expiration, and security code. I promise to keep it safe
Ah, Who knew that the comment section doesn’t liked numbered lists.
I’m not an expert in such matters, but this is what I learned in the last few days. That kind of popup is called a potentially unwanted program (or PUP, and not the good doggy kind). It infects computers is when downloaded as part of a software bundle, and sneaks in if the download is done without looking at the individual components accepted.
malwaretips dot com has the best explanation I’ve seen so far on how to remove PUPs. I understand as well that these malware programs evade common internet security programs and one must use a specific malware program to find them on your machine.
Best of luck!
1 866 SLABJACK. what they’ll do is hoist up the Site, flush out the foundation–the crusty bits, crumbs, & cock hairs. Like an alternating Hot & Cold Sitz Bath for your end. Then they lay down a bead of PolyGrip, set the Site down so she’s plumb and true. Secure with Jorgenson Clamps for a couple of days. By Sundee, she’ll be tighter than a Bull’s Arse in Fly Season. I saw it last night on the TeeVee, 2nd period intermission.
So then, umm…would it be more beneficial to let the cock hairs grow back in before undertaking this procedure? Asking for a friend.
for The People who like a Hairy Site, sure.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNooR4ORfbg
Sophisticated above, wild below – sometimes you CAN have it both ways
can i USPS mail donations? i’ve got enough bots, Russian or otherwise, messin’ with my head ‘n’ conputers.
There is always Donate Button. She is there in times of trouble.
just got a weird page when i used a PC. page was titled “Life is A Highway” and had japanese characters on it. what got me doubleshook was it had a picture of a T75 culture flask. i have just used said flask to culture some 293T cells (a cell line). i shit you not.
spooky man……
ok. back to normal. trying not to think about it too much. should’ve taken a screen shot but it freaked me out. my apologies, carry on.