A Partial Transcript Of Robert Mueller’s Questions For The President, 4/230/18

The special counsel, Robert S. Mueller III, recently provided President Trump’s lawyers a list of questions he wants answered in an interview. The New York Times obtained the list; here are the questions, along with the context and significance of each. The questions fall into categories based on four broad subjects. They are not quoted verbatim, and some were condensed. – “What Mueller Wants To Ask Trump About Obstruction, And What It Means” New York Times, 4/30/18

“How are you today, Mr. President?”

Mr. Mueller is here trying to end the day early. By asking such an open-ended question, he hopes that the President will perjure himself immediately. This is the legal equivalent of the “Fool’s Mate” strategy in chess.

“What was the content of your meeting with James Comey on 2/14/17?”

This is the meeting at which Mr. Comey contends Mr. Trump asked if could, w/r/t the Flynn case, “let this thing go.”

What was the content of your meeting with James Comey on 3/3/17?”

This meeting did not take place, but Mr. Mueller and his staff have placed wagers about whether Mr. Trump will just start making shit up.

“If one of your children has to go to jail–and most likely one does–which one should it be?”

Most of the Mueller team are parents, and they just want to hear the answer for themselves. Again, there has been wagering and the current line has Ivanka at 100-1, Eric at 9-2, Junior at 2-1, and even money he forgets about Tiffany’s existence. (Barron was not included in the betting as the team felt his age made it inappropriate. Unofficially, he’s listed at 15-1.)

“Traitorousputzsayswhat?”

This is childish, but just might work.

“Was the peeing an evening-specific thing, or was it part of your repertoire?”

Mr. Mueller hopes to rattle Mr. Trump here by alluding to a salacious portion of the Steele Dossier.

“I don’t know: can you go to the bathroom?”

With this question, Mr. Mueller is just being dickish.

“Do you have an egg in your pocket?”

If Mr. Trump has an egg in his pocket, he will get the chance to play exciting games for fabulous prizes, such as a dinette set or ski-doo (complete with trailer).

“During the interview with Lester Holt, did you mean to incriminate yourself or did it happen by accident?”

This query refers to an interview Mr. Trump did with NBC’s Lester Holy in which he literally said that he obstructed justice.

“Which of the Friends on Fox & Friends is your favorite?”

Again, this is being asked for purposes of wagering. “Blondie” is at 8-1, “The little guy, Ken or something” is at 4-1, “Chick with the tits” is at 2-1. (It is being assumed that Mr. Trump does not know any of the Friends’ actual names.)

“Do you like CD’s?”

It is anticipated that Mr. Trump will respond, “CD’s?” to which the Mueller team will say in unison, “SEE DESE NUTS,” and then laugh. The entire office is really looking forward to it.