Jezebel Why the coronavirus means that Elizabeth Warren must reenter the race.
National Review America’s best idea: privatized healthcare.
Reason Letting your (but not my) elderly loved ones die is the rational decision.
The Intercept Neo-liberalism: Still more dangerous than coronavirus.
Breitbart Somehow, this is black peoples’ fault
CNN In our studio is the chairman of epidemiology from Johns Hopkins, and the mayor of Buffalo Dick, Montana, who gets all his news from Facebook and sniffed a lot of glue as a kid, and we’ll be giving them equal time to speak.
Guns & Ammo We know we always say this, but: You should totally buy more guns & ammo right now.
People Magazine Sexiest Virus (Arguably) Alive 2020: Corona!
Daily Caller Why the scientifically correct term for the coronavirus is Slant-Eyed Pneumonia.
New York Times Opinion Section Maybe there’s a little Harvey Weinstein in all of us.
Cat Fancy Look at these fancy fucking cats. You ever seen cats this fucking fancy?
That’s not what “fancy” means in that context.
Fanciest fuckers on four legs. Some of ’em got monocles.
You’ve completely lost your attention span, haven’t you?
That’s a ten-four, good buddy.
Thought so.
The Atlantic online is leading with Touch of Grey lyrics.