Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Hi, My Name Is…

“What’s your name?”

“Rey.”

“What’s your last name?”

“Bacca.”

“Wha?”

“Rey Bacca. That’s my full name.”

“I’m sorry, do you think that his name is Chew Bacca?”

“Yes.”

“What are you, an idiot?”

“That’s how we were introduced.”

“Surely not.”

“Well, if I’m honest: My Shyriiwook is a bit rusty. I only understood maybe 30% of what came out of Chew’s mouth.”

“HIS NAME IS NOT CHEW.”

“You didn’t even know him!”

“I’ve never fucked a Jawa, but I know it’s unpleasant.”

“That’s space-racist.”

“It is absolutely not racist to say you don’t wanna fuck a reptile in a robe.”

“They’re reptiles? I thought they were like little monkeys or something.”

“Monkeys? Jesus, now who’s space-racist?”

“We’ve veered from the point. My name is Rey Bacca.”

“I’m just astonished how wrong you are.”

“I’m not wrong.”

“You think that on official paperwork, Chewbacca is known as ‘Bacca, Chew?'”

“There might be a middle name.”

“Yeah, you’re an idiot. Is Chew short for anything?”

“Chewis?”

“I’m gonna ride off on my weird, stupid-looking desert horse-monster now.”

“Well, what’s your name?”

“Ken.”

“What’s your last name?”

“Obi. My name is Ken Obi.”

“Oh, go fuck yourself.”

“Kiss my sarlaac.”

1 Comment

  1. JES

    Deffo Chewis Lewis Baca, Jr.

    June Baca to his moms and pops.

Leave a Reply