“HELP-A DA POPE! BLIND-A POPE!”
No, Your Holiness. You’re not blind.
“Whadda happened?”
Your cape flipped over your head.
“Again? Third-a time today!”
Well, a cape will do that. Maybe you could wear something else.
“Whassa matta you? No wear-a da cape? How-a da people gonna know I’m-a da Pope-a unless I wear-a da cape?”
Yeah, I guess.
“Besides: how-a many people gotta da good excuse to wear-a da cape?”
Well, there was–
“Don’t-a talk about da Star Wars. You’re a grown-a man.”
–Darth…sure, yeah.
“Pope gotta wear-a da whole costume. Can’t-a show up in-a khakis. Gotta make-a da big entrance. Give-a da Catholics a little razzle-a dazzle-a.”
That does make sense. Question.
“Shoot-a.”
You have free time, right? Down time? Watch the game, have a beer?
“Oh, sure. I watch-a da football.”
What do you wear then?
“I wear-a da pajama.”
They’re white, right?
“Oh, sure. Plus, they gotta da cape. I call-a them da popejamas.”
Sure. What do you sleep in?
“I sleep-a clothed inna what Jesus gave me.”
Ew.
“You ask-a da question, you getta da answer.”
Other cape wearers
The Pope doesn’t have a thumb on his right hand either. Is he Jerry’s brother by another mother?