Enthusiasts, you know that this site is the only true journalisticism left in America, and that TotD promises the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth unless the truth is boring and I start making shit up. The above talking points were handed out to Republican Senators by their leadership today to enable them to more politely avoid answering any questions about the President’s crime spree. You can tell they’re official from the poor grammar.
HOWEVER, this was not the only card. Thoughts on the Dead has–exclusively–received additional GOP talking points from an unnamed source who definitely wasn’t the Warren campaign. I share them with you now:
- Hot soup! Comin’ through!
- I HAVE EBOLA!
- Please excuse me, I need to get to the Goose concert.
- Any of you fucking pricks doesn’t move, I’ll execute every last one of you motherfuckers.
- I AM AN IMPORTANT WHITE MAN AND YOU WILL NOT TOUCH ME UNLESS I PAY YOU TO!
- Gonna yak! Gonna yak! (Keep repeating until you get to your office. “Yak” may be replaced with “hurl,” “ralph,” or “boot.”)
- Who wants to see a card trick? (Nothing will get you left alone quicker than this.)
- Hey, look over there! Is that Mr. T?
- Move, bitch; get out the way!
Outta my way – I have the latest Dave’s Picks here!
p.s. That is probably a variant on your “Hot Soup” one?
With lack of sleep, read the 3rd as:
Please excuse me, I need to get a handie/sundee-go-to-meetin’