“Listen, folks, someone told me this place was called ‘the Jewseum’ and, you know: I thought you folks were supposed to be smart. That’s a heck of a typo to go unnoticed.”

Pss pss pss

“I am being told by the unreliable narrator of the semi-fictional universe we inhabit that ‘Jewseum’ is the actual name. That’s whatcha call a portmanteau. My bad. Still not a great name, but it makes more sense now.

“Anyway, they asked me to say a few words about the longstanding relationship between the Grateful Dead and the Jewish people.

“So, you know: Mickey. First of all: Mickey. Not as Jewish as some, but for the Dead, he was very Jewish. Played drums on the Sabbath, though.

“Parish isn’t Jewish, but he’s from Brooklyn. Same thing, really.

“Our lawyer, obviously.

“But mostly it was the crowd. Dead draws a Talmudic audience. Could be that there’s so much stuff to argue about, dunno. At points in the 70’s–depending on what college we were playing–there wasn’t a foreskin in the house. Entire place would be guys named Jacob and girls with suspiciously perfect noses. We’d play Sugar Magnolia and they’d start lifting each other up on chairs.

“Funny story: both the guys who stole all our money were Jewish.”

Bobby.

“I guess that’s about it. Enjoy the drums.”