- I’m fat.
- What do gummy bears have to do with thick, lustrous hair?
- Food, skip.
- Sunset, skip.
- You need to love yourself and ALL body types are yabblebabble, skip.
- Picture with boyfriend, unfollow.
- Tyler Durden was right.
- And the Unabomber, too.
- People don’t like to admit it in public, but the Unabomber made some rock-solid points in that manifesto of his.
- What the fuck is a MUA?
- Is it a kissy noise?
- Put that ukulele down and get back in a bikini, damn you.
- Who do you think you are, Feist?
- Tulum is nice this time of year.
- Hey, Grahame’s on tour.
- I wonder if he’s married.
- Nobody’s married on tour, though.
- Tour is for shmoo.
- Why else would you go to Baltimore?
- Get that shmoo, Grahame.
- No, I didn’t know there was a jetshare app that worked just like Uber; thank you for telling me; my gosh, it looks like you and your attractive friends are having a blast.
- No, I don’t want to join your private Snapchat.
- Or your Onlyfans page.
- Or contribute to your Patreon.
- I don’t even pay for hardcore pornography anymore, so I’m certainly not ponying up for nudie pics.
- Ooh, kitty.
- Ooh, puppy.
- Ugh, horse; unfollow.
- Are you really going out with him?
- That guy?
- The deejay/photographer who’s raising start-up money for an app called Bakr, which disrupts bread?
- Tell him that bread does not need to be disrupted, Instagram Hottie.
- Bread is doing fine on its own.
- Hi, Holly Bowling’s Hat.
- I think you’re on tour, too.
- Get that shmoo, Holly Bowling’s Hat.
- You deserve it: Holly’s really sweaty; I can’t imagine what you go through every night.
- Shmoo it up, buddy.
You mean to tell me there’s not one “yay. another droll mashup of Dead iconography with corporate logo/corporate slogan/1980s punk band iconography/ironic reference bigcartel store account post/ad.” or “nice faux-meme about drugs/hating Phish/John Mayer’s LSD intake or lack thereof/Gritty using ‘lot-speak’ and just past its prime legit-meme templates.”??