“You’ll need to speak up.”

“I didn’t say anything yet, Uncle Mickey.”

“But when you do, you’ll need to speak far louder than you thought necessary.”

“How deaf are you?”

“Dalmatian. Maybe someone who lived through the mumps. If this were a hundred years ago, I’d have a giant tin horn sticking out of my ear.”

“Wow. What’s the last thing you remember hearing clearly?”

“Queen Latifah’s talk show.”

“You’re a fan?”

“Love the Latif. She just gets it.”

“Have you considered hearing aids?”

“No, I wear condoms.”

“Not AIDS, Uncle Mickey. Hearing aids. In your ears.”

“Trixie, I don’t want AIDS in my ears. Why are you offering that to me? Is that a Millennial thing?”

“I’m not a Millennial. I’m technically Generation X.”

“What did you guys do?”

“Nothing good.”