CURTAIN RISES on a STAGE SET that looks like a STAGE SET. ADULT BRUCE (Lin Manuel Miranda) and the E Street Band (The Rest of the Cast of Hamilton) are playing. There is a small AUDIENCE on stage dancing to the groovy rock and roll tunes.

BRUCE
Find me some blue jeans and a bandana
Roll up my sleeves, count off 1, 2, 3, 4.
No more New Jersey; now it’s the big time
The world spread its legs, and I said “sure.”

Suddenly, Springsteen is rocking besides you
Don’t need no doobie; we’re not that kind of band
Suddenly, Springsteen is here to provide tunes
Sing Hallelujah: Now we’re a brand.

In the audience, COURTNEY COX (Adele) stands and begins singing.

COURTNEY
I need a band with too many people
Maybe a black guy, an uggo or two.
Don’t want no funk or no syncopation
Just straight up and down from the drummer, a Jew.

Suddenly, Springsteen is rocking beside me
Singing ’bout cars and his shitty dad
Suddenly, Springsteen is playing arenas
Sing Hallelujah: Springsteen’s a brand.

BRUCE
Now I’ll play something
That’s off of Nebraska

COURTNEY
I just remembered
I must use the can.

BRUCE
And now here’s a story
It lasts for an hour.

COURTNEY
Can’t you play Backstreets?
That shit is my jam.

BRUCE
Suddenly, Springsteen.

E STREET BAND
Suddenly Sprrrrrrrriiiiiiiingsteen.

BRUCE
Is playing Pete Seeger.
Suddenly, Springsteen
Is firing his baaaaaaand.

E STREET BAND
What?

BRUCE
Suuuuuuuuuuddenly Springst–

E STREET BAND
No, don’t continue singing. What was the last thing you said?

GARRY W. TALLENT
WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, MAN?

GARRY W. TALLENT (Nathan Lane) strikes BRUCE with his bass guitar, killing him.

The music STOPS.

COURTNEY COX ascends to the stage.

COURTNEY
Suddenly, Garry has murdered Bruce Springsteen
He caved his head in right up on the stage
A crime born of passion; you really can’t blame him
Everyone knows Garry’s made of rage.

E STREET BAND
Made of RAAAAAAAAAAGE

GARRY W. TALLENT begins DESECRATING the newly-dead corpse in SEXUAL WAYS, then extends his hand to COURTNEY COX. They DANCE WHITELY.

BLACKOUT.