Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: 1977 (Page 8 of 11)

Stairway To Seven

band 77 steps bw

Clockwise from top:

  • This version of Billy–the Dickpunching Caballero– was short-packed and snatched up by collectors upon hitting the shelves.
  • Mrs. Donna Jean is thrilled to be there, but has to get back to gym class.
  • Mickey is the living embodiment of cocaine. Like, if there were a God of Cocaine–like Zeus or Ganesha or whomever–and he had to interact with humans, that is the form he would assume: cocky, wearing a ridiculous hat, and bearing the shirt of the band he’s in.
  • Back to Billy for a sec: he’s farting on Mrs. Donna Jean, isn’t he?
  • Luckily for all, Keith happened to have been in the park when everyone else showed up for the photo shoot. He had been chasing squirrels, and being chased by squirrels, and pressed into service in the squirrel navy fighting off the mighty war machine of the King of the Geese, Featherbeak the Younger. Having a human on their side decisively shifted the balance of power to the squirrels and it looked like victory would be theirs, but to an average citizen–or a cop–it just looked like Keith was half-naked in the pond strangling geese and there were children there, man. He tried to explain, but then everybody showed up and Rock gave the cop a twenty and no one mentioned the incident and someone found Keith new pants.
  • What the fuck, Mushroom Head?
  • Nice nips, Bobby.
  • No joke: Keith berseker-murdered at least eight geese; the chilling thing is that his heart beat never went above 70. In fact, his heart stopped twice that afternoon, but that’s completely unrelated to the goose massacre.
  • Jesus, Garcia.

Are You A New Mexican Or A New Mexican't?

Hey there, cats and kittens. Need a little something to brighten up a rainy Saturday? Ghost of Sci-Fi legend Michael Moorcock come to visit you, then throttle you for giggling at his name? Cover every inch of your body in latex house paint and asphyxiate? Did you get so sad and the howling inside your skull got so loud that you hopped the bus down to the mall to show those nice people at Foot Locker your dick again? Did they laugh again?

Here you go, Sunshine: 10/7/77 at the University of New Mexico, the Dead’s only New Mexican appearance. The Iko>Wheel>Wharf Rat is utterly jaw-dropping, plus no first set. How could you go wrong?

Weird, though that the Dead would only do one foreign show.

Stop it.

Why?

Because this is the stupidest of your theories.

THE GADSDEN PURCHASE WAS A FALSE FLAG OPERATION!

1977: The Year Punk Broke

The Grateful Dead

From left to right, as usual:

  • Keith’s hair and head are as wide as one another.
  • Billy is…Jesus, Billy. You don’t always have to make my point for me.
  • Garcia is not wearing his glasses and has no idea what’s going on. Immediately before this photo was taken, he tried to cop from a fern, and then burnt down a stranger’s hotel room. (It was not a stranger: it was Phil.)
  • Mickey has been drafted by the Pittsburgh Penguins.
  • Look at Mrs. Donna Jean: she’s clearly being held hostage here. If this were a video, you’d see her blinking out “COME GET ME” in Morse code.
  • Bobby looks like when Superman first comes out of the phone booth.
  • The only thing Phil was able to save from his hotel room was that tie and he is not happy about it.

That Time Of Year

You know it. This one’s indelibly scratched into you; it won’t buff out.  Does that opening Take a Step Back take you back, raise the hairs on your arm, the boner in your soul? The dynamic tension of the intermittent instrumental stabs and barks bouncing on both sides of your head, then there’s Mickey on the right, then Billy opposite, Mickey again, and one of these days some kid’s gonna die with this general admission bullshit, and Keith–high up and sprightly and hard left on this sterling example of Betty’s Boards.

And then: swooping like a sex pterodactyl up to the most perfect note he’s ever played, Phil sounds like a 20-ton Super Ball.

That was the magic moment for me when I was just a small Thought on the Dead, that bombombom phWOOO kicking off the hour-plus second set that has been enshrined in the Library of Congress and in an even more patriotic honor, blasted at detainees at Gitmo. (The only effect the psychological torture had, however was a request for “some ’72, as a palate-cleanser, praise be unto him.”)

I’ve written about this show before and I’ve never really written about the show before and won’t again this time because the show is almost besides the point: it’s a holiday now (try calling in Cornell to work) and the origins of holidays are almost always immaterial. There were lots of friendly meals between white settlers and Indians, but we picked one and put it on a Thursday. It’s the one day of the Enthusiasts’ year when everyone’s listening to the same show: it doesn’t matter which show, honestly. (Probably shouldn’t be a ’93.)

Not to argue against this one: you can’t. They rocked out with their cocks out on this night in Barton Hall, metaphorically except for Billy, and to take the position of BEST EVAR HARGLEFLARGLE is to take a defensible stand.

But it’s a superfluous one: the greatest show the Dead ever played is the next one you listen to, if you’re an Enthusiast.

To ask “What was the best show the Dead ever played,” is like asking “How many flarns do you want?” In both cases, the word your answer hinges upon (are flarns a yummy, wafflle-like dish or kicks to the jaw?) is completely vague.

Define ‘best.’ For some in the band, I assure you that they think the best show ever was the one in which they got paid the most. For Mrs. Donna Jean, it was a show early in ’73, when she had started singing more songs with the band: someone threw her roses, expensive ones, and she pressed one and she still has it.  Someone whipped a used Christmas wreath at Mickey’s head once and he leapt into the crowd and started beating random fuckers with a microphone stand.

Best is where you find it.

p.s. There are a shit-ton of Matrix mixes, “upgrades,” remasters, and karaoke versions of the show on the tubes, but I’ve linked to the original Betty Board, because it’s the best. She got it right the first time.

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