Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To

Tag: 1987 (Page 2 of 3)

Dylan And Two Deads

bobby-dylan-sneaky-jerry

I see you back there.

“I’m sneaky when I wanna be.”

Dylan tour, huh?

“Four shows to go.”

You been counting?

“Christ, the cat’s a pain in the ass. Buncha malcontents in the Dead, sure, but once we choose a key for a song, we stick to it.”

He’s unpredictable.

“He’s a pain in the ass.”

Is Bobby wearing a pink hoodie with the sleeves cut off and jean shorts?

“As long as he doesn’t disappear into the bathroom for hours at a time like the poet over there, he can go onstage naked for all I care.”

Sure.

It Was Just A Disguise

bobby disguise jpb ventura

Here’s the irony of being in the Grateful Dead: you never got to go to a Grateful Dead show. There were 20,000 people in the arena dancing, but there were five or six guys (and Mrs. Donna Jean) who were at their jobs. For us to play, they had to work. Think about it: the Dead were the only people in the building that had to be doing a specific thing. You could dance, or lie down, or get tackled by Parish; hell, you could walk out and go get ice cream if you wanted to. Our temporary autonomy was a direct result of their contractual obligation.

It’s the gilded cage scenario, sure, but a locked door is a floater in your eye: once you know it’s there, you’re always going to notice it. There’s backstage, but that’s friends and hangers-on and drug dealers and record company assholes and stone-cold teen foxes; sometime you just have to dive into a crowd of strangers and wade around, maybe buy a t-shirt or a corn dog.

But how? A Grateful Dead would draw a crowd, especially in a Grateful Dead crowd, and that’s not the point of the parking lot: you want to see and be seen, not be gawked at. The Deadheads would mean well, and they would say lovely things and offer lovely drugs, but on a clear and hot summer day, you just want to glide down Shakedown, nice and smooth, and leave no wake.

Trickery was to be employed.

That photo is from the parking lot of Ventura in ’87; look at the skeleton’s eyes: that’s our Bobber. He thought the best way to remain inconspicuous was dressing up in a skeleton costume while standing next to a man dressed like a riverboat gambler. I’d like to think that everyone knew it was Bobby and was just polite about it, and pretended that they were fooled.

Bobby has picked his band members well, because several years ago Young John Mayer did this exact routine, except he filmed it and put it on his MTV show. (You forgot he had an MTV show, didn’t you?)

jm bear suit

That’s John in the grizzly bear suit. Later on, he made love to that woman and recorded it. You must never, ever listen to that recording.

On the other hand:

bill shakedown cincinnti

“Hey, fuckers! It’s me! Who wants to tell me how great I am!?”

“I do!”

“Me, too!”

“All right, you’ll all get a chance. Line up, line up.”

“Billy, I love you. You’re the best.”

“I am! Here’s some rolling papers. Next!”

“I named my dog after you, Billy.”

“That’s great, kid. Here’s some rolling papers. Next!”

And so on.

(Photo stolen from a Reddit–and that place has become an unwashed asshole except for some of the smaller and more specific subs–user named Sirsnackpack, who I don’t believe is actually a knight. I think he’s just Mistersnackpack, and he’s trying to sound fancy.)

For The Benefit Of Ms. Baez

bobby joan baez AIDS

“Members of the press, Joan Baez’s scarf, various microphones, janitor who wandered in and began eating the donuts only to be shrieked at by Joan Baez, Otis: welcome.

“First of all: these mics are unprofessional as hell. When the Dead does a show, we all have the same kind of mic. It just makes for a better presentation, and the Dead’s all about presentation.

“I’m happy to be part of this benefit with Joan Baez & Friends. Mickey is doing a show under the name Joan Baez & Friends With Benefits, but I don’t know what night that is.

“Me and Garcia are gonna play some acoustic numbers. You know: casual. And, uh. we played rock-paper-scissor to see whose bass player to use, and Garcia won, so John Kahn’ll be there. Joan’s gonna come up and do a tune or two with us, because it’s in the contract. Fun night.

“AIDS isn’t fun, though. I hope no one thinks that. There are some aids that are great–hearing, marital–but you capitalize that sucker and, you know: boom. Everyone’s worse off. It’s ironic that something named AIDS is so unhelpful.

“And if I can digress for a second: it’s a little odd that no one’s complimented me on my chest hair. A little odd. All I’m saying.”

Wrap it up, Bobby.

“Go Niners.”

Good speech.

Hold That Tiger

Meanwhile back at TXR, the other side of this semi-dysfunctional, choogly-type family is up to all sorts of shenanigans. Phil and his Phriends are playing a show from 1987. TotD has, through careful sleuthing–

You googled it.

–determined that the show is 9/18/87 from Madison Square Garden, which was released as part of the 30 Trips set, but is also available as a Healy UltraMatrix; someone better-informed than TotD can fill us all in as to what precisely an UltraMatrix is in the Comment Section, but whatever their makeup, the sound is unique and maybe you’ll like it, and maybe you won’t.

But there’s more, Enthusiasts: Jim Irsay got all pilled up and sent Tiger on a field trip; it’s been wandering around the Bay Area like the Stanley Cup and I’m expecting to see Tweeted pictures of rando babies napping on it. Perhaps it will be taken to inner-city schools to inspire poor children. Will the lame be permitted to lay their twisted flesh upon it, that they may be healed?

Tiger has made friends with baseball pitchers:

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And reunited with the Lesh family:

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Phil got in on the action, too:

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And then Phil handed Tiger into the audience, where it was passed from Deadhead to Deadhead; everyone got a turn.

As usual, though, TotD has a member of the Haight Street Irregulars in the audience (if we’re honest, he’s a full-fledged FoTotD) and he sent along this sweet shot of Phil and Grahame:

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Fun fact: that is Kidd Candelario’s head in the foreground.

Less fun fact: from the angle of this shot, TXR needs to step up security. Maybe some velvet ropes, or give the busboys truncheons; I don’t know; I’m not a restaurateur.

Funnish fact: a silent letter is written but not pronounced; the “n” that is pronounced but not written in the word “restaurateur”is the opposite of a silent letter. (See also: the second “r” in “sherbet.”)

Don’t Tell Me This Town Ain’t Got No Hartford

Just in case you’re looking for a damn fine ’87, I’ve got a damn fine ’87 to pimp: 3/27 from the Hartford Civic Center. Great first set with a double-closer (first sets have closers: look it up) of Music Never Stopped>Touch of Grey and the version I’ve linked to is a great Matrix, so you can hear the crowd go nuts when Garcia sings about surviving and whatnot.

Second set’s warm and gooey like peanut butter scooped out of a jar nestled in a fat guy’s crotch: big Dew and a Cumberland that may or may not be one of the six Cumberland Stones.

Bend Over, Landover

Much like the Joshua trees of the Mojave, or the Steaked Cheese of Philadelphia, or the special Hepatitis you only got on Fantasy Island, the tree octopus resides in only one place on earth, the Pacific Northwest. In the forests at dusk, you can hear their familiar SHLORRRRRRRP-shmp-shmp SHLORRRRRRRP-shmp-shmp up and down the redwoods as the smart and graceful (yet slimy) creatures hunt for squirrels, jackdaws, and lost monkeys.

From Olympia to Vancouver and all the way down to that part of California that’s basically South Oregon, the tree octopus lives a quiet life, only occasionally dropping out of trees only people’s faces. If you didn’t want cephalopods ambushing you from above, then you shouldn’t have gone hiking, is my feeling.

The indigenous invertebrate is also, of course, the inspiration for long-time friend of the blog, Mr. Completely, who patrols the streets of Portland as the Tree Octopus, no matter how many times the police ask him to stop, or how many appointments with therapists his family makes.

He’s even got a theme song!

Tree Octopus, Tree Octopus:

He’ll extrude his stomach over you,

And digest you alive!

If he thinks you’re a criminal.

In between stopping crimes and eating criminals, the Tree Octopus makes recommendations, and this one is a doozy: 9/12/87 from Maryland. There is a Cumberland, but it does not count.

The Loser counts, though. Garcia has a great night, vocally and instrumentally, and he states his intention to fuck shit up during his first tune. There is something about this version in particular that–and I cannot say precisely why this came to mind–makes you think that Garcia truly enjoyed singing this song.

Phil also enjoys singing Tom Thumb’s Blues, and I’m just going to end the sentence here.

What about Samson? Does Garcia do that thing, that awesome little thing, where he holds out the “down” in “tear this whole building down?” He totally does, yo.

There is so much goodness!

And then there is the Morning Dew, which draws up a 50 Shades of Grey-style sexual contract with you, has it notarized, and then immediately and deliberately does all the stuff you didn’t want, plus a lot of stuff you didn’t even know existed.

This Dew will do things to your butt, and not just your physical butt: your emotional butt. This Morning Dew will fist the butthole of your heart.

I need you to stop this right now.

What?

What?” Fuck you, that’s what. This is why you don’t get invited to contribute to box sets.

Aw.

You deserve the truth.

I know; still hurts.

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