Let’s say that 9/15/72 (previously only available as a fragment or an AUD, but now streamable in full and with the Charlie Miller seal of approval) was a handsome gentleman, and you a sultry but respectable young lass. 9/15/72 invites you out on a date: what can you expect?

  • Flowers.
  • Chocolates.
  • 9/15/72 will be showered to within an inch of his life; his butthole will be squeaky.
  • The China>Rider will be smooth and mellow, like a junkie with alopecia.
  • There will be no discussion of politics or religion.
  • Just love.
  • Possibilities, y’know?
  • 9/15/72 has a fine car that makes a manly noise, but it is not ostentatious and there are no bumper stickers.
  • Like a true gentleman, 9/15/72 opens your car door for you, and after you are comfortable, he closes the door in a soft and firm manner.
  • He has left the engine running; the radio plays smooth jazz.
  • The seat is leather and comfortable and there is also a dog in the car you did not notice.
  • Which is surprising, because the dog is large and now he is climbing into the front seat with you to make love to your hip.
  • His forelegs clamp down; this is a strong dog.
  • “Conkers! Conkers! I’m so sorry!” 9/15/72 screams. “Bad dog!”
  • He tries to pull conkers off of you, but in his furry yearnings, Conkers has locked the doors with one of his paws by accident.
  • Conkers is looking you in the eye.
  • He knows what he’s doing, but you do not and cannot hit the lock button: it appears that this will end when Conkers decides it does.
  • Conkers finishes.
  • The DJ for the smooth jazz station tells you that George Benson is up next and your oddly-steady hand opens the door.
  • 9/15/72 pulls Conkers off of you and out of the car, roughly.
  • “I…I…I…”
  • And then 9/15/72 licks your leg clean.
  • The Playing jam is also out of this world, man.