Ronnie Wood arts. When he was a Rock Star, he liked freebasing cocaine, but he arts now that he is an Aging Rock Star. Paintings and drawings and sketches and it is almost a mathematical certainty that there are multiple collages in progress as I type this. You know: art.

And look at the dimensions. Ronnie didn’t scratch this out in his pad on a private jet: the paper was almost four feet by three; there are specialized pieces of furniture required to comfortably draw on a sheet that large. The portrait was not produced accidentally; there were affirmative decisions made at each step along the way in this art’s creation.

INT – RON WOOD’S ART STUDIO – DAY

“Jo, me pet!”

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Ronnie was, at the time, married to a woman named Jo. She was, by all accounts, the most delightful human being. Ronnie left her in 2008 for a 19-year-old.]

“You’re a bastard, Ronnie.”

“What’d I do?”

“Didn’t you read the editor’s note!?”

[EDITOR’S NOTE: Pretend you can’t see me.]

“Ah, fuck you, too.

JO WOOD WALKING OUT OF AN ART STUDIO NOISE

“What the fuck is happening?”

…

“Ah, well. Gonna go with the ‘alf blackface.”

And so on. For any of you who may be tempted to argue “shadow,” I will direct your attention to Mr. Jolson’s gloves. But TotD, you continue to argue, Al Jolson did in fact perform in blackface. To portray him otherwise would be a literal whitewashing of history. I would agree, and then trigger the poison-tipped dart in my super-cool assassin umbrella. You’ve got very little time. Call out to your loved ones. Clear your browser history. I’m sorry it had to end this way, but I will not be questioned.

YES, of course Al Jolson should be drawn or painted or tattooed in blackface, BUT–and I’m just speaking for myself here–I would rather not be drawn whooping in delight right next to him while he’s all corked up. If I were Rod, I would have been annoyed. (But Rod was Rod and liked to sing about slit-eyed ladies and pester tall women into letting him shake on them, so I’m pretty sure Rod didn’t give a shit. Someone should ask Rod Stewart about #MeToo. It would be fucking hilarious.)