There were a lot of things Garcia could do standing right next to Bobby and come out even, if not on top. Sexy Tushee Time was not one of them.
Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To
Tag: bill kreutzmann (Page 79 of 88)
What other website brings you–you, the discerning Enthusiast–exclusive news of how the Grateful Dead responded to the news of the Hyperloop? None!
Y’think there’s a reason for that?
Big Dead?
Really?
No, not this time. This shit’s getting arcane.
Phil half-read the article, then demanded that “this hyperlooper the boffins have invented” be worked into his amplifier rig.
All day, Bobby had been giggling, hard. He was doing that thing where you’re at a funeral or church or an orgy–somewhere you’re not allowed to laugh–and now YOU CAN’T STOP LAUGHING. Every once in a while, Bobby would try to catch his breath: he would double over, hands on knees, shaking his head. “Hyper poop,” he would whisper, and again start quivering with laughter. It continued for hours; Garcia had to sing most of the songs that night.
Billy invented a hyperloop, as well: it was sexual in nature, and I’d thank you not to ask me any more about it.
Vince was heartbroken over the rumor that the emergency brake was to be named the Vince Song, because it brought things to a dead stop.
Garcia would check into hotels under the name “Hy Perloupe”. He thought is was clever, and it actually wasn’t such a bad little joke. Then he would accidentally burn down half the building.
Sorry, gang.
Listening to the another gem from the Year of the Wall: July 31st, 1974, Dave’s Pick 2. (Which, for some reason, is still available on the Archive. Here it is.)
Tremendous Eyes, tremendously funny China Doll with Garcia and Billy musically bickering about the tempo, tremendous work on the Rhodes piano from Keith throughout the show.
but, as I said, this show has been released as a Dave’s Pick, so I cruised over to Amazon to read some reviews and came upon this offering:
Like most archival releases from 1974, this release omits “Phil and Ned”, aka “Seastones,” the electronic jams involving Phil, synthesist Ned Lagin and sometimes Garcia and Kreutzmann, which regularly took place between the 1st and 2nd set during the period June 1974 to October 1974. “Phil and Ned” was an integral part of the “Wall of Sound” show.
Why is it not included? One main reason: “Deadheads” for all their self-proclaimed openness, are just not that open to experimental electronic music that doesn’t have a “spacey” vibe, and actually they would often boo Phil and Ned’s experiments in concert. For some reason they never seem to complain about “feedback” from side 4 of live dead, which really is kind of boring.
If everyone who appreciates Seastones gives this release one star, maybe the troglodytes at Rhino will get the message for future 1974 releases.
The only reason–not an excuse, a reason–for writing this sort of thing is that one has contracted rabies. Also, scabies. ONLY SOMEONE WITH RABIES/SCABIES COULD BELIEVE THIS.
This is like going to a summer action movie and getting upset because there were no chest-pooping scenes: it’s fine to have weird, creepy fetishes (and Seastones qualifies), but realize you’re in the minority.
And, yes: Seastones was an integral part of the Wall of Sound show in the same way that Zyklon B was an integral part of Dachau’s hygiene program.
DUDE!
WHAT THE FUCK, BRO?
We JUST had the meeting about this.
You KNOW how offensive that is to me!
…
Please don’t–
What? Dude, I’m proud of my heritage.
—start with this again. Four hours in the car with this.
Germans can’t be proud?
Within the timeframe of the 1940’s, no: not really.
Y’know, it’s all about tolerance with you up to a point. “When they came for the Jews, I said nothing–“
The ‘they’ that poem refers to are the Germans, you do understand that?
…
We all have equal claims to our victimhood.
When Billy started telling dickpunching stories, it was best to listen politely.
You know my feelings on the Dave’s Pick series: it’s kicking ass on all cylinders, partly because of base-level good decisions being made concerning the first and most important choice–which show shall it be?
Aside from DaP 6, which I thought had more historical significance than musical merit, there’s not a Pick you can second-guess: perhaps the show you want hasn’t come around yet, but there haven’t been any shows of less than A+ caliber.
For example, Dave could have picked any of these shows, but didn’t. Good work, you apology-offering syrupsucker.
- That show in ’83 when Bobby put slides on every finger and realized he couldn’t play like that so he got really frustrated and started windmilling his arms around and whomping people on the heads and screaming bloody murder and, you know: this was in front of fans, like twelve goddam thousand of them–it looks bad for the organization, so eventually Billy came around from behind his drums and mercy-punched Bobby in his dick and Brent got scared and started crying because the grown-ups were fighting and in the confusion, Garcia snuck into the bathroom and that was the end of the first set.
- The marching band show. The things that happened to the flautists…
- That time Vince got “hysterical blindness”, to which everyone responded by telling him that if he knew it was hysterical blindness, then he should be able to see, to which Vince then claimed to have “hysterical deafness, as well” and tumbled over a few things rather theatrically and the night got worse from there, to be honest.
- All those benefits when Phil would yell at the sick people.
- Any of those shows in the ’80’s when they would play brilliantly one at a time, or perhaps in small groups, but almost never everybody at once.
- The show the day after the famous ’78 mescaline show, when they just sat there pushing the eggs around the plate for a bit, then tried to go back to bed, but everything hurt.
- The Pants-off Dance-off. No one needed to see that shit, Billy.
- Any of the shows they played at Summerland or Autumnland.
- The lost May ’76 performance of Jesus Christ: Superstar that not one of them was off book for.
- Those shows in late ’81, when instead of Drums/Space, Werner Herzog would just come out and rap with the crowd about man’s compulsion to defy his own mortality through art.
- Any of the shows they did on that mall tour with Tiffany.
“We need more speakers.”
“I haven’t even told you how many you’re going to have yet.”
“We’re gonna need more that that.”
“You have an unbelievably large number of speakers.”
“You’re not listening: however many speakers we have, we need more than that. MAKE IT SO.”
A little more actual art to cleanse the palate…
I guarantee you this: Billy’s act of retardedly earnest self-promotion annoyed Phil, amused Garcia, and confused Bobby, who went through the entire show thinking the name of the band was now Billy and wondering whether or not he had been fired again.
Look at Mrs. Donna Jean’s face.
“40 years later, same bullshit.”
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