INT – MASSIVE APARTMENT THE ENTIRE DEAD LIVES IN FOR SOME REASON – DAY

GARCIA and MICKEY are sitting on the couch. BOBBY is in the kitchen.

BOBBY
Do we have anything but 2% milk?

MICKEY
No. Why?

BOBBY
Well, I’ve been reading the label. It doesn’t say
what the other 98% is!

AUDIO CUE: LAUGH TRACK

MRS. DONNA JEAN enters in a towel. There is another towel wrapped around her head.

AUDIO CUE: “WOOOOOO!”

BOBBY
Oh, no! A suicide bomber!

MRS. DONNA JEAN
It’s a towel, Bob. Not a turban.

AUDIO CUE: RACIST, LOWEST-COMMON-DENOMINATOR LAUGH TRACK

GARCIA
So, what’s with the getup?

MRS. DONNA JEAN
I bought some new herbal shampoo from
Big-Donged Sheila and LOOK!

Mrs. Donna Jean REMOVES THE TOWEL and her hair is TIE-DYE.

AUDIO CUE: “OHHHHHHHH!”

MICKEY
Well, Donna: you wanted to be a Grateful Dead,
and now you’ve got a grateful head!

AUDIO CUE: LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE, ME SHOOTING MYSELF