Thoughts On The Dead

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Tag: dan healy

The Healy Collection

March 20, 2019 / / 3 Comments

I do not know how I feel, Enthusiasts, about this latest offering from the great Jesse Jarnow. In it, he reveals that longtime live sound mixer Dan Healy was merch yoinking at a steady pace for his entire tenure with the band, and not just yoinking: storing. Every shirt Mickey ever yoinked went right on his sweaty, often bloody, torso; Healy kept everything in a cool, dry basement that didn’t get any direct sunlight, and so he’s got boxes full of mint-condition merch.

Look at this bullshit:

(Technically, since these are bootleg shirts, Healy could not have yoinked* them. These were most likely traded for. Precision is important when it comes to important matters such as these.)

What is the source of my ambivalence, you ask? Surely not the piece itself: as always, Jesse’s writing is superb, thoughtful, and informative. Nor the topic: while not the rediscovered trove of Betty Boards, a hidden cache of merch resurfacing is a newsworthy one. The pictures are brightly-colored, and all in focus.

No, my hesitance to sign on fully lies in what the article’s placement represents. GQ shouldn’t care about the Dead. I don’t want GQ to know the Dead exists.

This was the next story:

And I’m just gonna leave it at that.

 

*Merch can only be yoinked from one’s self (for an extended definition of self). Taking a shirt off your merch table is yoinking; taking a shirt off someone else’s merch table is stealing. Or buying. Maybe trading. You can also be gifted an item, in which case the item is no longer classified as merch, but rather as swag.

I know it’s complicated.

The Dead Snob’s Dictionary

May 8, 2018 / / 5 Comments

As with all hobbies, digressions, obsessions, and white people shit, Deadheadery contains with it many levels of interest. There are Noobs, of course, who have heard Skeletons in the Closet and several other studio albums; Polywogs, who got into the band via John Mayer but have already purchased a van; Talcums, who are covered with a fine, soothing powder and also love Sugaree; and Old Guys Who Wanna Tell You How Many Times They Saw Jerry, who are old guys who wanna tell you how many times they saw Jerry. (OGWWTYHMTTSJ’s always call Garcia “Jerry” like they were buds.)

And there is the Dead Snob. The Dead Snob does not have opinions, no. The Dead Snob knows facts. Furthermore, the Dead Snob does not recognize your question as legitimate. Penultimately, the Dead Snob doesn’t listen to far more Grateful Dead music than he does listen to. Ultimately, the Dead Snob can confidently be referred to using the masculine pronoun.

What to do if you’re cornered by a Dead Snob, or run into him in his natural habitat, the internet? Here are some shibboleths that will help you through the conversation.

Cardboard Cowboy This 1966 original was never recorded, and is therefore the Dead Snob’s favorite song.

Deadbase The Dead Snob loves Deadbase, but only to complain about the errors. Good chance that the Dead Snob you’re speaking with wrote portions of Deadbase; he will complain about those portions, as well.

Steve Kimock There CAN BE NO DEBATE over the fact that Steve Kimock was the best Fake Jerry. If given the opportunity, a Dead Snob will launch into a semi-extemporaneous 20-minute speech about how the Farewell Shoes would have been better if Kimock was there.

Cornell The Dead Snob’s favorite Cornell show is 5/16/81. If you engage the Dead Snob about 5/8/77, you will never regain his respect.

Mickey’s Solo Albums Be prepared to have an opinion on Diga when interacting with a Dead Snob. The word “monochord” will also be bandied about.

Audio Options The Dead Snob’s hierarchy of sound goes thusly: Bootleg Vinyl>Third Generation Cassette>PONO (Dead Snobs are also really into Neil Young)>ALAC/FLAC>8-Track. The Dead Snob will not listen to an MP3 on principle.

Monet Weir Do not discuss Monet Weir with the Dead Snob; it won’t end well.

“A Bit Same-y” The Europe 72 show’s fatal flaw.

Alembic Formerly the preferred luthiers of Garcia and Phil, this high-end guitar shop now caters mostly to rich guys in tribute bands who are incapable of truly rocking Fort Lauderdale’s Monkeyshines Bar & Grill every Tuesday night without a $9,000 guitar that weighs 30 pounds.

Ultramatrix Dead Snobs swear by these rare mixes of the soundboard and audience, done live and broadcast via pirate FM signal by Dan Healy in 80’s

Dan Healy The Trotsky of the Grateful Dead, according to Dead Snobs.

 

To be continued…

Hold That Tiger

May 25, 2016 / / 4 Comments

Meanwhile back at TXR, the other side of this semi-dysfunctional, choogly-type family is up to all sorts of shenanigans. Phil and his Phriends are playing a show from 1987. TotD has, through careful sleuthing–

You googled it.

–determined that the show is 9/18/87 from Madison Square Garden, which was released as part of the 30 Trips set, but is also available as a Healy UltraMatrix; someone better-informed than TotD can fill us all in as to what precisely an UltraMatrix is in the Comment Section, but whatever their makeup, the sound is unique and maybe you’ll like it, and maybe you won’t.

But there’s more, Enthusiasts: Jim Irsay got all pilled up and sent Tiger on a field trip; it’s been wandering around the Bay Area like the Stanley Cup and I’m expecting to see Tweeted pictures of rando babies napping on it. Perhaps it will be taken to inner-city schools to inspire poor children. Will the lame be permitted to lay their twisted flesh upon it, that they may be healed?

Tiger has made friends with baseball pitchers:

Jake-Peavy-With-Tiger-980x1307

And reunited with the Lesh family:

IMG_4425

Phil got in on the action, too:

Portable Network Graphics image-BFAB049300CF-1

And then Phil handed Tiger into the audience, where it was passed from Deadhead to Deadhead; everyone got a turn.

As usual, though, TotD has a member of the Haight Street Irregulars in the audience (if we’re honest, he’s a full-fledged FoTotD) and he sent along this sweet shot of Phil and Grahame:

IMG_0702

Fun fact: that is Kidd Candelario’s head in the foreground.

Less fun fact: from the angle of this shot, TXR needs to step up security. Maybe some velvet ropes, or give the busboys truncheons; I don’t know; I’m not a restaurateur.

Funnish fact: a silent letter is written but not pronounced; the “n” that is pronounced but not written in the word “restaurateur”is the opposite of a silent letter. (See also: the second “r” in “sherbet.”)

Things That Will Get You Thrown Out Of The Taper's Section

June 21, 2014 / / 0 Comments

taper section 1989

  • Hiccups.
  • Tourette’s
  • Being a slacker.
  • Writing checks your butt can’t cash.
  • Using a My First Sony.
  • Wearing white after Labor Day.
  • Being white after Election Day, 2008. Thanks, Obama!
  • Constantly asking, “What happens if I press this button?” and then pressing the button.
  • Not asking; just pressing buttons at random.
  • Bird calls.
  • Physical comedy.
  • Being Magneto.
  • Bringing that string licorice and whipping fuckers in the back of the neck with it.
  • Demanding “Let Bill Sing.”
  • Not sucking up to Healy.
  • Honestly? Having girl parts.

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