…if you don’t buy ’em, I can’t steal ’em. Think of someone besides yourself, huh?
Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To
…if you don’t buy ’em, I can’t steal ’em. Think of someone besides yourself, huh?

Tell me this isn’t a Dave’s Pick cover for a ’68 release. Maybe early ’69. That little notch in the band’s history after they learned how to play but before they learned how to write songs. There were, like, 17 of ’em onstage and their soundman was the Most Famous Drug Dealer in America? And everybody’s instruments were made from wood and metal, and they had the same amplifiers that all the other bands did, and several band members did not need to shave all of their faces yet.
That little notch.
Although, you could just as easily find an image for another Dead era within David Lozeau’s portfolio. He’s having a sale today, and I’m not even getting a kickback for telling you that like I do when you buy books from Amazon I recommend. My reasons are noble and pure: the Grateful Dead (Or What’s Left Of ‘Em) should hire this guy. All the different Dead factions, too: Dead & Company should have him draw posters, and Rhino should have him draw record covers, and Phil should toss him off a bus in Milwaukee.
Remember all the Dead & Company posters? Remember how someone was so perturbed by them he resorted to elaborate dialogues with himself on the internet to try to explain away both bush and league? A good deal of them were skeleton-based and, as I alluded to, dreadful. But look at this:

Did they play San Diego? Because: boom, there’s your San Diego poster.
TotD, you’ll say, that artwork atop this text is certainly pleasing and theme-appropriate, but I think you overstate the terror that were the actual posters.
Oh, I’ll answer. Do I?

DID I, MOTHERFUCKER? I scream as drag you into a drainage canal and let the gators handle you. FUCKING DID I? But my screaming attracts attention, and locals save you. I flee, back into the swamp. Back into the only mother I’ve ever had. That’s why they call me Swampy.
Swampy? The character is from the swamp, and his name is Swampy? That’s lazier than usual.
I only did it so I could comment on it.
Deep.
Oh, yeah.
Aren’t you doing a commercial?
Kinda! Go to David Lozeau’s site and look at his art! Why? Because of shit like this:

That’s a whole movie right there. If you can’t tell yourself the whole story from that painting, you’ve no imagination at all. (It’s all in her right hand. There’s a lot of character reveal in that hand position.) It is also, as I mentioned, a Dave’s Pick cover waiting to happen. Just print the date and venue’s name on the bottom and ship ’em out.
I now present Reasons Why David Lemieux Should Hire David Lozeau for the Dave’s Picks Series:
Your irritating names So similar, and so unmemorably-vowelled that I need to look it up every. fucking. time. I only have three vowels in my names, Davids, and they are nowhere near one another. Are you people hoarding vowels for the winter?
Someone’s gotta draw the skeletons Let’s be honest with each other, Enthusiasts: there will be no further additions to the Dead’s iconography. The lookbook is set. Stealie, lightning bolt, those fucking bears, turtles, flying eyeball. And skeletons. The Grateful Dead’s merch is made out of skeletons, like that church in the Czech Republic. So: someone’s gotta draw the skeletons. Why not hire someone who is already skilled at the task?
Maybe he could draw those fucking bears as skeletons? Maybe I’d like them then. I don’t think so, but my mind is open to art’s possibilities.
Because he didn’t pick 9/11/83 for the new Dave’s Pick Which is bullshit. And personal, I believe, even though I never once broached the subject with David Lemieux. 9/11/83 from the second of two nights at Santa Fe Downs is a far superior show to the Boise gig from earlier in the month selected for the Pick. The second set is seamless and perfect, except for Wang Dang Doodle, which is so imperfect that it becomes glorious: an amp is exploding or the monitors have begun skittering away, one of those technical gremlins that the Dead carried with them around the country, and Bobby has to keep restarting the song; the band’s crankiness comes through their amps and the usually dire Wang Dang Doodle becomes a highlight.
Ultimately, it comes down to this: I have listened to 9/11/83* far more than I have 9/2, so therefore the former is the superior musical performance. If Mr. Lemieux can’t see that, then I have low hopes for the future.
Because of shit like this:

THAT IS GRATEFUL DEADY AS SHIT. That might be Grateful Deadier than certain former band members. (TC. Obviously, it’s TC.) Hire this man right now, David Lemieux. Go out to the lake, wait for it to get windy, and record a video about the Dead’s newest artist-in-residence.
Does David Lemieux have this kind of authority to be hiring artists?
I have no idea.
So why are you ordering him around as though he did?
Y’know what? He’s up there in the Hundred-Acre Wood harvesting his berries and peeping at bears, and his president is handsome and sane, and Come From Away just won Best Musical at the Tonys, and I could just bite through my hand in rageful jealousy.
At least it’s a logical reason.
Facts not feelings, brah.
*Both 9/11/83 and David Lozeau’s art brought to my attention by the ever-hip Mr. Completely. He’s just a useful human being to know.
2000 fucking words. I wrote 2000 fucking words on the Dave’s Picks series last night, and this piece of shit computer ate every single one. I went through the entire run until 2:30 in the fucking morning. I came up with many funny ways to say David Lemiuex’s name, and I was very mean to DaP 12 from Colgate ’77. (Tl;dr: Keith is terrible and mixed too high.) I mocked 80’s Truthers, and then eventually took their side.
We even visited with DL’s children. You remember the Lemieux Septuplets: Gordie, Girl Gordie, Northstar, Jean-Luc, Fleece, and the twins, Mickie and Billie.
Well, they’re gone. Canadian government took the kids and are raising them in a zoo for their own health and safety.
So here we are: you have nothing to read, and I came face-to-face with the utter pointlessness that is my continued existence.
Happy fucking Tuesday.
TotD has been informed that the Dave’s Picks reviews have been described using words and phrases such as “farcical,” “off-topic,” “only tangentially related at best,” and “you can’t review two Official Releases at once, jackass.”
All of those things were said by the Gardener of Rose City, Mr. Completely, who as we know is also secretly Portland’s own The Tree Octopus. He fights crime with his heterocotylus, which is a dick-arm. Or an arm-dick. A dick-arm, yes, because it operates the same as the other seven arms–suckering and grasping and all–but it’s also a dick.
Anyway: fucker’s got one of those. Too much time on tour, I guess, but he uses it to aid his fellow Portlandianites on their bike rides home from gluten-free yoga. Muggers, flashers, the heteronormative: all fall to the unlicensed, untrained baton-wielding Deadhead with a dick-arm!
It’s getting weird around here.
Yeah. Anyway, he was offended by my laxity in Dave’s Pick reviews, so he took the reins for Volume Ten. All opinions expressed herein are Mr. Completely’s completey, in all completeness. Leave me out of it. Also, any typos are his, unless they occur in the italicized part, in which case he is also responsible for them, somehow.
Take it away:
Look, these half-assed Dave’s Picks reviews have gone on long enough, don’t you think? It’s time for an adult to step in, and I guess that’s me. Since you can see the word “Mr.” right there in my name, with its forceful semiotic of respectable masculine authority I must be qualified. After all, “TotD Guy” is what we all call TotD Guy – not “Mr. On The Dead,” no matter what his made-up medical office worker dialogues might have you believe. That’s not the kind of name we give to subject-matter experts or professionals in this culture, is it? By way of contrast, I have at hand all the tools of the professional (or at least the expert): espresso, the finest West Coast cannabis concentrates, a loud stereo and a pro quality thesaurus. Put me in, Coach!
So we will begin with Dave’s Picks 10, a fine late ‘69 selection from small LA theater which for some reason we are supposed to believe was simply called “Thelma.” As seen in official release liner notes and other, less absurd blogs than this one, all proper Deadhead show reviews start with a context-setting paragraph or two. This is both to situate the music in a proper interpretational frame for the listener/reader and to impress upon them the writer’s mastery of the material. Prepare to be situated and impressed!
As any serious Dead obsessive can tell you, late 1969 was A Transitional Period For The Band both musically and socio-culturo-psychologically. The end of that year was when everything finally fell permanently and inarguably apart for the “Sixties counterculture movement,” which while a little on the nose timing-wise undeniably had a major impact on the band, as the world-weary bittersweet cynicism of their mature artistic period begin to manifest lyrically and in their onstage affect. We thus can unpack the tension you’ll hear in the music as an apt metaphor for the effect of the Manson murders, the Altamont debacle and rest of the national dark night of the soul on the Dead’s collective psyche.
Restless creativity (or sheer boredom) had also driven the band out of the tightly rehearsed performance style they had mastered for the recording of Live/Dead earlier in the year, and so the shows of this period demonstrate a new, looser approach to the improvisational sections of the songs. Between this sardonic, experimental approach to jamming, the relatively unformed new country-influenced material, the sophomorically clumsy enthusiasm of Weir and Lesh on the newly relevant backing vocals and the fact that Mickey seems to have turned into a potato for much of this timeframe, gig recordings of the Thelma vintage often present as sloppy, unfocused or meandering on the surface. But this loose presentation can disguise deep structure that should greatly interest any serious Dead fan.
This show is in fact an important historical document, a snapshot of a crucial moment in time: a glimpse into the liminal state so beloved of all serious New Critical Thinkers like you and I. In this snapshot the band stands poised between What Was and What Is To Be But At The Moment Isn’t Quite, a point of maximum ambiguity, the deconstructionist interpreter’s dream wherein everything becomes a matter of perspective. The band wasn’t sloppy: they were experimenting with new, less structured modes of performance, so don’t be a middlebrow simpleton about it, kid! Mickey wasn’t nodding off or even playing wildly out of sync: he was integrating minimalism and stochastic beat structures as a decentering exercise within his technique. Bobby and Phil were taking a microtonal approach to harmony vocals, not randomly screeching.
See, this is easy! With the right frame of interpretation it’s easy to reframe these issues in a more informed way. You just don’t get that kind of sophisticated insight from TotD Guy, do you? He and I have a nice bromance going, despite the occasional boundary issues, but we all need to be realistic about our strengths and weaknesses in this life.
Having provided a proper contextual reference frame for interpretation and built reader tension across several paragraphs, we’ll now flip the script with the badass expert show reviewer trick of jumping in media res to the heart of the gig: the magnificent, stratosphere-scraping Alligator > Caution jam from disk 3. We’ll go back later for the rest of the music, but this masterpiece sequence delivers a densely packed series of musical thrills in the emerging conversational improvisation style of the time, and every single one of you reading this probably skipped right to it when you got DaP10 anyway so why not just get to the good part.
What do we mean when we say “conversational” in the context of improvised music? The essence of the idea comes from the development of post-bop jazz in the early to mid 1960s as epitomized by the “second great quintet” of Miles Davis and Village Vanguard era Coltrane, filtered into the Dead’s music through the listening habits of Garcia and Lesh in particular. Freed from the linear structure of sequential solos, improvisational music of this lineage enters a state of constant creative/destructive mutual interplay, wherein each note, scale, or chord choice may signal assent, demurral, or creative digression from the emerging direction of the “conversation.” A quintessential example can be heard in the musical discussion underway late in the Thelma Alligator jam.
The topic of musical debate, as it were, concerns whether to proceed with the natural canonical transition into Caution; to find another potential transition into a different song; or to simply abide in an ambiguous but pleasing improvisational space. We hear the debate between Lesh and Garcia quite clearly: the latter is ready to complete the Caution transition, while the former is unconvinced. “I’m not ready to leave this musical space,” the obstinate bass ostinato proclaims; “there may be territory here yet undiscovered.” Phil really talks like that, you know.
“I want to play fast and loud, Phil, get a move on” comes the answer from the guitar – Garcia is no teddy bear onstage when it comes to musical direction in this era and of course has a more blue-collar diction.
Two bars later we hear the answer, plain as day: “Well, I concur that accelerando to crescendo would be fine indeed, but I’m going to need to work my way back into the Caution structure from here.” Phil may be an intellectual at heart, but he likes to rock out as much as the next fellow.
Always glad to be helpful whenever he was getting his way, Garcia now inquires solicitously (expressed through a louche, piquant Django-inspired run): “Sure my friend, what do you need to get there?”
“I’m gonna need…about tree fiddy” comes the unexpected response, and that’s when Garcia suddenly realizes in shock that instead of his bass player friend, Phil is actually a six-story tall crustacean from the Paleolithic Era. That damn Loch Ness Monster has foiled their jam again!
“Get outta here you got dam Loch Ness Monstah! I ain’t givin’ you no tree fiddy!” Garcia flashes the Hey Rube signal to Billy, who jumps up ready to go and accidentally wakes up Mickey. But the Loch Ness Monster ain’t fool enough to mess with Bill The Drummer, no sir! So it runs right out the Thelma backstage door and off into the bad ol’ Los Angeles air.
We never do find out what happened earlier in the show.
DAMN YOU, COMPLETELY!
Questions Dave’s Picks 6 brings up:
Continuing our binge-listen of the Dave’s Picks series of live recordings, we find the second volume birthed in Connecticut on a typically long and involved afternoon with the Wall of Sound. The China>Rider is good. Really good. Great? Sure: why the fuck not?
Stop that.
I’ll go with great. Great China>Rider. Listenable and good and American. Even though it’s a China>Rider: still an American kinda tune.
If you don’t want to do reviews, why did you start this? No one was asking for this.
People ask. Some of the nice people asked about the specifics of that time the Dead went to the Westminster Dog Show.
That could be funny.
Sure.
Or you could keep wasting everyone’s time by telling them what they already know: the DaPs are awesome, except if you’re a die-hard Brent fan or 1969 killed your parents. Because there is very little Brent and quite a bit of ’69.
Lot of 1969, yeah.
Well, you know: the tapes came back.
Good for the tapes. More from summer of ’73, please.
You do realize that everyone has their own demands-phrased-as-requests, right?
…
If you’re talking bad about summer ’73, we’re going to fight.
You do realize that we’re the same person, right?
Stop trying to confuse me, you Italic-American bastard. Go enjoy your traditional foods!
I gotta see if I can catch on with a new blog. This is getting silly.
I awoke–or, rather, came to–on the floor of a long hallway. There was no natural light, but I could still see.
My head was fuzzy, and my face hurt: I had been hit. I had been struck, and repeatedly. My phone was gone.
As I looked around, I realized that it was not a hallway I had found myself in; no, I was in between parallel shelves reaching ten or twelve feet up. It was like the stacks at my college library, but with less drug dealing and clandestine gay stuff. There were books, but there were also cardboard boxes and record albums and was that an oud? and a shopping bag with “Billy’s I.O.U.’s” scrawled on it.
At the end of shelves, in the dimness, was a pair of maroon sweatpants with the elastic holding on out of sheer duty and a size XXXL black t-shirt. The clothes were suspended in the air in a human shape with no visible means of support.
Like this crazy bullshit Batman used to pull:
how the fuck did Batman even do that? There’s a lot of craftsmanship in that thing, and technology, too, it seems. Is this how Batman takes his mind off being Batman? By using his advanced Morgan Freeman stuff to permanently turn the judging glare of the teenager he pretty much murdered on him while he worked? Did he wear the Batman suit while he worked on it?
Also, at one point–stick with me here–Batman had to be molding the crotch of that thing and, seriously: don’t you take a breather and reevaluate things? You’re a grown man in a pervert suit making a voodoo dead kid in a cave and maybe law school?
You had an idea. You were doing so well and developing things and being a big grown-up writerly writer–
Yeah, those first few sentences were killing it, thank you.
—and then you squander your energy and their time–
If they’re reading this, they have nothing better to do.
—on Batman nerd-porn. Stop it and get back to the story about how you found yourself…
…sitting between the shelves when I heard footsteps. There were two of them, one lighter than the other, but they had the gaits of soldiers. They walked like men of violence and my hand went to my already-bruised face and I was frightened; most of all, though: confused? What had I done to deserve this. Besides all the things I’ve done to deserve this. Like, if there were a vote: it would be a runaway that I thoroughly need and merit a solid thrashing, but it isn’t a democracy. I’m the only one who gets to vote.
When the two men came around the corner, I could see that one was lanky and tall; the other, almost perfectly spherical in dressed in old-fashioned tweeds and a matching eye patch. He made it work, you had to give it to him.
Both of them had dangerous, drug-fueled lightning flashing in their eyes and I feared for my life. I snatched a random manuscript off of the shelf and, rising to my feet, made as if to tear it.
Don’t come any closer! I said.
The men stopped.
“NO!” the short one cried. “That is the only remaining copy of Bobby’s aborted 1978 novel, Who Is Clive Davis and Why Does He Keep Grabbing my Ding-Dong?” You mustn’t destroy it.”
His voice was plummy and flutey, yet manly. Clearly educated.
Bobby? I asked. My god…I am in–
“You are in THE VAULT, my dear boy. We have brought you here to–”
Who are you calling ‘boy?’ I said. There was a second of silence.
“Are…you…um. This is a rude question, but–”
What difference does it make?!
“because you’re allowed to say–”
ALLOWED? Check your privilege, son! I said
And then Billy leapt from the highest vantage point and punched me in the dick.
As I sank into unconsciousness, the one in the suit stood over me.
“My name is The Reverend Dr. Sir Nicholas Aloysius Kensington Flensington Jamiroqui Rothschild Baracus–
I then passed out.
TO BE CONTINUED…
(Honest. I know I’ve done this before. I wish Elvis would come back, too, but there’s MORE TO THESE STORIFICATIONS, Enthusiasts!)
You know my feelings on the Dave’s Pick series: it’s kicking ass on all cylinders, partly because of base-level good decisions being made concerning the first and most important choice–which show shall it be?
Aside from DaP 6, which I thought had more historical significance than musical merit, there’s not a Pick you can second-guess: perhaps the show you want hasn’t come around yet, but there haven’t been any shows of less than A+ caliber.
For example, Dave could have picked any of these shows, but didn’t. Good work, you apology-offering syrupsucker.
Today is Inside Day here at Fillmore South: it is approximately 35 billion degrees out. Fahrenheit. Of course, it’s Florida, so it’s sticky as a Tunisian’s ballsack and it feels about 10 degrees hotter than that. It is so hot that immediately outside my door, nuclear fusion is taking place. E is equalling the shit out of M, C, and Squared out there.
It is a good day to stay in, crank the air conditioner until it shudders with effort–damn the electric bill: I want to need a blanket in August!–and listen to the newest Dave’s Pick. Big number 7, from Normal, IL, from my beloved Spring ’78 tour. Perhaps you purchased it; perhaps the show just fell out of a truck onto your hard drive: no matter.
This release is a triumph for everyone involved: the sound superior to many of the Big Ticket Box Sets, and other multi-tracked recordings. For a 35-year-old tape that was made as a simple document of the evening, this thing is as present as if it were recorded yesterday. The drums–THE GODDAM DRUMMERS–are especially clear, each cymbal and tom in its own space.
Garcia is heavy on the Mu-Wah-Funky-Wah-Pedal (I’m not a guitar tech: you know the thing I mean) and Bobby won’t put down the goddam slide for a goodly portion of the show (and makes the otherwise-fun Werewolves of London encore nearly unlistenable) and Keith is (briefly) back to his old ways, a little lighter on the touch than Fall ’77 and he’s listening at this show in particular.
PLUS an all-time version of Passenger, Bobby and Donna ad libbing in Music Never Stopped, and…well, shit, the whole first set is Hall of Fame. Go and listen.
In honor of the new Dave’s Pick (chosen from a year that’s often overlooked and more often underrated), tonight we will be featuring some shows that, for one reason or another, will never be officially released:
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