They’re going all in on Those Fucking Bears, aren’t they?
I like this particular shade of yellow; other than that, I have no opinion. What do you think?
Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To
Tag: dead & company (Page 13 of 38)
Dead & Company is playing tonight in Portland, and Phosh is down in Los Angeles. Both of the streams are for sale, or you can steal ’em from somewhere, and here is a picture of Oteil’s weed:
More effort was put into this poster than the last few, it seems, but I dunno. What do you think?
Also: if you run into a man dressed as a Tree Octopus, then that is Portland’s Protector, Mr. Completely. He will not be attending the show tonight, so running into him means you have broken into his house, and please don’t do that.
“Bob, this is getting out of hand.”
“Which part?”
“All of it. All of it, really. The dosing, the legofication, all of it. Me friends are here now, and two of them are supposed to be dead.”
“There might be a little bit of Time Sheath involvement here, I think.”
“Time what?”
“Sheath.”
“Sheath?”
“Yeah, but it’s capitalized.”
“Sheath.”
“Right.”
“Like a time machine?”
“No, not really. Nothing like a machine.”
…
“It’s a Sheath.”
“Bob, I’m a patient man, but you’re getting me angry.”
“WHO YOU TALKING TO, QUEENFUCKER?”
“Good one, Lego Billy.”
“Thanks, Lego Branford.”
“Motherfucker, I will kick your lego ass you call me that one more time!”
…
“Is that your new band, Bob?”
“Appears to be, yeah.”
“This is very good acid, Bob. It is just acid, correct?”
“There might be some other stuff in it.”
“Such as?”
“Magic.”
“Mm, yes.”
“Little bit of turmeric.”
“I was going to say that I was feeling very anti-inflammated.”
“Fellow named Doctor Gary is doing some of our work for us now.”
“Oh, Katy Perry’s man?”
“Yup, yup.”
“Bob, this is it, right? As weird as it’s going to get, I mean?”
“Uhh, yeah? Maybe. Could be. Definitely could be.”
“AH CHALLENGE BOTH BEATLE AND GRATEFUL DEAD TO COMBAT IN MAH LEGO DOJO.”
“Or, you know: not.”
“FIGHT WITH THE KING, HARRY GARCIA AND YOKO!”
“Everyone has to stop calling me that.”
“AH WILL KICK YOU WITH MAH HANDS AND PUNCH YOU WITH MAH FEET. AH C’N DO SHIT LIKE THAT CUZ AH’M ELVIS.”
“Do you know him, Bob?”
“Of course I know him: he’s Elvis.”
“No, no. Personally.”
“We’ve not been introduced.”
“Why is he here, then?”
“T’KICK HIPPIE ASS!”
…
“He’s here to kick hippies ass, I guess.”
“Do we have to fight him?”
“Well see next post?”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
Jesus, Mickey.
“We did, though! All of us together, pulsing and throbbing in rhythm. There was also thrusting.”
Ew.
“And those that could not thrust were juicy.”
Weird.
“Were our boners made from drums, or our drums from boners?”
Neither.
“Don’t call me to the blackboard, teacher: I’m here with my friends, pulsing and throbbing.”
Stop.
“Last night, Oteil pulsed while I throbbed; this night, we switch. He got sore.”
What?
“Thrulsing.”
Nope.
“Pobbing”
Nuh-uh.
“GlaaaarMAAAflarn.
You’re just making sounds now, Mickey.
“Drums!”
Good talk.
…
Precarious.
“Yo.”
Your handiwork, I assume?
“I consulted.”
What are you even doing there?
“Had to install Wally in left field.”
DO NOT CALL ME THAT.
Hey! You’re not in this!
DO NOT YELL AT YOUR FUTURE DICTATOR.
…
PRESIDENT.
I’ll get back to you. Precarious, how does this thing even work?
“Speakers?”
Yeah. Are they supposed to be like that?
“Well, when you talk about ‘supposed to,’ you’re getting into free will, and that’s above my pay grade.”
I mean: is it supposed to be leaning like that?
“Oh. Yeah.”
And now back to the original question: how?
“Remember in the cartoons when the coyote would run off the cliff and he’d be fine ’til he looked down?”
Yeah.
“Well, no one told the speakers about gravity.”
Whatever.
“We good? I gotta put out a fire.”
Metaphor?
“Nope.”
Garcia’s here?
“Maybe.”
Goddammit.
What are you smiling about?
“Whaddya think?”
John’s outfit?
“Who?”
Josh’s outfit.
“Yeah. Scenes from an Italian Restaurant. Me and Mick are going down to Creepy Ernie’s to have identical outfits made up.”
Oh, gosh, hope no one in the Comment Section ‘shops that hellish image into existence.
“Gonna be like a gang from Nantucket.”
Bobby likes shorts. You could get him into it.
“Nah. Weir’s allergic to gingham. Makes him break out in jives.”
Hives.
“No, jives. He starts talking like a black guy.”
Oh.
“And you know: Branford’s in the band now.”
You’re awful, Billy.
“Josh is getting really into that outfit, too.”
How so?
“He killed a Vassar co-ed on a yacht, and then his father got the whole thing covered up.”
Wow. When?
“This afternoon.”
Oh.
Gingham Rogers.
“Stop it.”
Maryann and Gingham.
“Stop it.”
Gingham? Hardly even know ’em!
“Terrible.”
Oppa gingham style.
“You stole that from someone in the comments.”
…
“You done?”
Well, we named that little guitarist Checkers. I like him, and my wife, Natasha Monster likes him, and the Deadheads like him. And you know what? We’re going to keep that little guitarist.
“That wasn’t awful.”
It’s an election year, so I thought it was timely.
“Now are you done?”
Yes.
“Great.”
GIIIIIIIIIIIINGham back home…
“I hate you.”
…with a song I used to hear….
“We’re done.”
I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll stop.
“Yeah?”
Yeah. Totally. Sorry, man. Hey, what’s your favorite Truckin’?
“Ooh, good question. I guess the Winterland from ’78.”
Not 11/6/77 in Ginghamton?
“Fuck you.”
Hey, John Mayer. Whatcha doing?
“Having fun, wearing outfits, soloing.”
So, just a normal night?
“Yup. Loving Boston. Couple of us went to the Common today.”
Yeah? How’d that go?
“Billy threw me on the ground and ate sandwiches off me.”
Not a surprise, really.
The reboot of The Ring was a failure: the VCR tape was replaced with an AUD of a 1984 show, so no one listened to it and no one had to die.
© 2026 Thoughts On The Dead
Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑
Recent Comments