First sign of aging in an American male: realizing that CBS Sunday Morning might be the best show on TV.
Last sign of youth: realizing CBS’ NCIS might be the best show on television. (Special Agent Jethro Gibbs takes no shit.)
Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To
Tag: dead & company (Page 24 of 38)
Hey, Billy. Whatcha up to?
“Thoughts on my Ass!”
I do love that nickname. You’re back on the road, huh?
“Yeah. Summertime. Hit the road, play some shows, punch some dicks.”
Same as it ever was.
“I dunno about that. You should see the joints we’re staying at. Last night, we were at the Titz-Carlton.”
Ritz.
“I know what I said. Titz-Carlton: it’s like the Ritz, but with yabbos everywhere.”
Nice.
“You can grab ’em!”
Sweet.
“Much better than the Balldorf.”
To some.
“Sure. People should be able to grab whatever the hell they want. This bathroom thing? Fuckin’ bullshit. Use whatever john you want. Hell, take a shit in the kitchen if you want.”
I do not think that’s the solution.
“Yeah, okay. Probably shouldn’t shit in the kitchen.”
No. Was there any discussion about cancelling the show?
“Sure, but if you cancel the show, then you don’t get paid.”
…
And?
“And what?”
Good talk, Billy.
“Whatever.”
See it yet?
I’ll give you a second.
Found it?
…
The triumphant return of Bobby’s Fanny Pack!
Please don’t capitalize it.
It’s special.
It is not. And you know as well as I do that capitalizing things is the first step along your delusional path.
Oh, no.
Yes. Next you start making shit up about it, and then you start talking to it. And it’s getting to be weird.
Y’think?
“I can tell you what’s in Fanny Pack.”
Oh, hey, Red Metal Stool.
THIS. THIS is what I’m talking about.
You’re being very rude to Red Metal Stool.
“Put some respect on my name.”
I’m out.
nahnahnahVROOOOOOMVROOMVROOM
NRRRRRRRRRR
FWEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeee
…
kasploosh
Did you just get in a semi-truck and drive over a thousand foot cliff into a river?
Yes.
“Then how is he still talking to you?”
Don’t worry about it.
Bobby didn’t feel like going back out for the bow, so he sent Red Metal Stool to do it on his behalf, much like Marlon Brando sending that fake Indian lady to get his Oscar.
Have at it.
Dear Headcount (But Also Everyone Else Everywhere):
Only kinda rockin’? What about Participation Row’s relationship to the hook: on or off?
🔥?
But I come back to the use of the word “rockin'” and ask: are you Tommy Lee, Headcount? Because only Tommy Lee can say “rockin'” sincerely and get away with it. The Crüe have broken up, and Tommy Lee is most assuredly bored and naked, so he may very well be a charitable organization dedicated to voter registration by now. I doubt it, because if you were Tommy Lee, then your name would be Headcöunt.örg so I will have to disallow the “rockin’.”
In conclusion, I demand to be placed on the Headcount Board of Directors.
Yours In Democracy,
Thoughts on the Dead
Where have I seen Young John Mayer’s hat before?
Ah, right.
The Dead’s for everybody. If a thing is truly beautiful, then it must be available to all.
Participation Row is the Gallant to Shakedown’s Goofus: instead of heady grilled cheese, you can find fatty political rhetoric; the doses are not of acid, but of righteousness. You can win a guitar on Participation Row, whereas Shakedown always contains the small but statistically significant possibility of being stabbed by an off-license anesthesiologist in a Red Sox cap.
There are many causes represented within Participation Row, ranging from ultra-liberal to the liberal. The Communist Party is selling t-shirts There is also a group way to the left of the Commies who are just stealing dudes’ cargo shorts in order to redistribute them to the people. (That might just be a lunatic.) The Green Party is in attendance; more precisely, Jill Stein is tripping balls in a Port-a-Potty. Libertarians have a table, too, and they are smoking pot and calling people stupid.
Many environmental groups have set up booths. The venerable Greenpeace is there, as well as Blackpeace, which is also for the environment, but are much more metal about the whole thing. There are tables set up to advocate for saving whales, tigers, elephants, and pandas. At the end of that row is a woman trying to save the passenger pigeon, and no one has the heart to tell her.
Headcount is there trying to get people to vote. Dickcount is also there; that group is associated with Billy; do not let them them to count your dick.
The abominable North Carolina law that caused some bands to cancel their in-state shows suggests that there should be attention paid to equality along this Participation Row, and the LGBTQA community was well-represented. They had a large booth, but then the L’s and the G’s started fighting (they get along less than you might assume) and demanded separate tables, leading to a schism in the group. There are now two factions: the LBQ’s and the GBA’s. (The B’s couldn’t decide between positions, and the T’s were in the bathroom and missed the whole thing.)
Show started already, but you can listen here, or you could check out one of these Periscopes. (Down already. Love that Periscope.)
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