Every band should have a horn section. I don’t care how much it costs. Medicare for all, and horn sections for all.
Musings on the Most Ridiculous Band I Can't Stop Listening To
Tag: eddie vedder
So if you haven’t stopped by the Donate Button in a while, gift-wrap some money and do so.
Or don’t.
Either way, here’s a picture of George Clinton and Eddie Vedder:
And that’s why this is the best fucking website on the innertubes.
“Hey, Heavy Cheddar. Nice to meet you.”
“Close enough, I guess.”
“Heard you beat up Josh.”
“No, no. John. I beat up John.”
“Who’s John?”
…
“Yeah, I beat up Josh.”
“That’s great. We’re not allowed to, so thanks.”
“Wait, what?”
“It’s in the contracts. Smart clause, actually.”
“Did the Dead fight a lot?”
“Oh, all bands fight, but we used to strike each other with our fists, or improvised melee weapons. There was also some choking.”
“Jesus, Mick: you guys used to strangle each other?”
“Try to. Never to completion.”
“That doesn’t make it better.”
“Legally it does.”
“Okay, I gotta give you that.”
“Your band doesn’t do any of this? Never had a keyboardist and a backup singer try to murder each other with luxury cars?”
“We don’t have either of those–”
“You kids today got it easy. Problem comes up and you discuss it? Try to work things out reasonably? We couldn’t do that. We had to throw cooked turkeys at concert promoters and have intra-rhythm section knife fights.”
…
“You didn’t have to do any of that, Mick.”
“No. But, God, it was fun.”
“So, Eddie: I was thinking–”
“You can’t join Pearl Jam.”
“–what if I…okay.”
“Sorry, man.”
“Just throwing it out there.”
“If you don’t ask, you don’t know.”
“Right.”
“And, um–this is a bit awkward–Jeff Ament wants his hat back.”
…
“This is my hat, Eddie.”
“Please don’t make this weird.”
“I bought this at the Macy’s in Geneva. It cost 12 grand.”
“No, no. Jeff bought it at a flea market in Madison, Wisconsin. I was with him. We ate deep-fried cotton candy.”
“You can deep-fry cotton candy?”
“You can deep-fry anything if you’re American enough.”
“It’s my hat, Eddie.”
“C’mon, man. Gimme the–”
“Don’t you–”
“Just gimme Jeff’s–
“Get your hands off–”
IN THE NEXT DRESSING ROOM
KNOCKKNOCKKNOCK
“C’mon in. Hey, Oteil. What’s up?”
“Nothing much, Bobby. Um…our guitarist and Eddie Vedder are punching each other next door.”
“No, no: I’m our guitarist.”
“Our other guitarist.”
“Josh?”
…
“Sure?”
“That’s what that noise is? I figured it was Billy.”
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