You were the greatest or second-greatest keyboardist the Dead ever had. (Third if we’re counting Jeff Chimenti.) We’ll miss you forever, Brent.

You’re an asshole.

Pardon?

That is two-time National Security Advisor Brent Scowcroft, who is not dead and was never in the Grateful Dead.

…

That’s on me. I see it now. My problem is that I can’t tell Brents apart because I’m not a racist like you.

Uh-huh.

Seriously. Everyone knows I don’t have a racist bone in my body.

“Wrong, Jewboy.”

Was that you?

No.

Who was it?

“Down here.”

“When you said that you didn’t have a racist bone in your body, you were a little bit off. You have one racist bone in your body, and it’s me. I’m your left femur.”

This is so fucking stupid that I’m gonna kill myself.

SWALLOWING A BOTTLE FULL OF PILLS NOISE

TEN MINUTES GOING BY NOISE

ASPIRATING VOMIT AND THEN CHOKING TO DEATH NOISE

I didn’t think he had it in him.

“Fuck him. He looked Irish, anyway.”

Could you please stop being racist?

“Absolutely not. I connect the hip bone to the knee bone, and I preach the tenets of White Supremacy. That’s what I do; it’s why I’m here.”

Ah, this blows.

“Hey, you got 205 bones that are degenerates like you. Don’t oppress me. I’m a minority.”

I will not play your word games.

“How about sodoku? You people are good with numbers.”

We’re done.

“I’m gonna try to make you kick a Guatemalan.”

Italics Guy was right. This universe is so fucking stupid.