“Good evening, everyone. I’m Grateful Dead archivist David Lemieux. I’m here with Gary Lambert, who will not have a speaking part due to the limitations of the dialogue-only format, and the great Jesse Jarnow. Hey, Jesse.”
“Thanks for having me, Dave.”
“David.”
“Sorry.”
“Jesse, we have a great show from 1993 tonight, or at least most of a great show from 1993.”
“Right. The last couple songs were not filmed.”
“Right. Do you know why not?”
“Because the Dead weren’t occasionally bush league. They were fully committed to half-assing it, phoning it in, and declaring their efforts ‘good enough.’ They were big-league bush leaguers.”
“Interesting. Can you share your thoughts on Gary’s shirt?”
“I’d rather not, David.”
“Also interesting.”
SWHUBBLEDUBBLEVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPOP!
“Jesse, are you still there?”
“BOOF ME!”
“Excuse me?”
“SHOVE ME UP YOUR ASS AND BECOME IMMORTAL.”
“Okay, this is just inappropriate.”
“I AM THE UNIVERSAL CLEANSER.”
“Excuse me for a sec.”
…
“Hey, hoser.”
Me?
“You see any other hosers around here?”
Guess not.
“Shit like this is why you’re not allowed on the pre-show.”
Aw.
“No one to blame but yourself, buddy.”
I know.
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