Tag: howard stern

• Richard Simmons was gay.
• Mr. T didn’t have any tricks other than looking like that.
• Reagan didn’t like jellybeans; he loved them.
• Margaret Thatcher masturbated irregularly, but always to Faces of Death III.
• Time was not actually traveled in Back to the Future, or the sub-par sequels.
• Not one ghost was busted: All special effects!

Are you SHOCKED by these revelations yet? As SHOCKED as you were when you found out (or recalled) that Howard Stern did blackface for the Clarence Thomas sketch? Are you SHOOOOOOOOOOCKED?

• Athletes and movie stars, even ones with wholesome images, schnorfed the flakey-flake.
• Despite the name, you didn’t have to join a club to purchase a Members Only jacket.
• The “Miracle on Ice” was by definition not a miracle.

SHOCKED? CHOSKED? YGIYTP#? Have these disclosures FUCKED YOUR BRAIN like the fact that the man behind Butt Bongo Fiesta was racially insensitive during an era in which racial insensitivity was chuckled benignly at by the dominant culture?

All right, all right. We get it.

They got him, man. They got Howard. I hope no one finds out he used to talk about his penis.

Yeah, yeah. Enough.

And a bababooey to y’all.

90% of you will not know what the fuck this is.

10% of you just started saying, “Howard. Howard. Let me respond to that,” in your heads.

…you don’t need to. You’re welcome.