“MWAAAAAAH-mwah-mwah-WEEEEEeee.”
“Y’know, I just agreed to one rally with Hillary.”
“WHEEZIE-wheezie-wheezie-WEEEEEEEEEEZ.”
“Christ, I’m having flashbacks to that time Blues Traveler opened for us.”
“Heenee-SHWANK.”
“Shwank? That’s not a harmonica noise.”
…
“Hi, there! I’m Tom Kean.”
“Nope.”
“Top Kat.”
“Nuh-uh.”
“Tiff Karcia.”
“Absolutely not.”
“Completely honest with you, Jon? I have no idea who I am.”
“A governor?”
“Could be. I look like a governor.”
“Hold on.”
…
“Siri? Who’s running for vice-president?”
“Mike Pence.”
“No, the other guy.”
“I want to say his name is Flip.”
“You’re useless, Siri.”
“Yes, I am”
…
“Yeah, I got nothing. Check your wallet.”
“Ooh, good idea. Um, apparently my name is American Express.”
“Well, sometimes we get Joe Biden and sometimes we get Dan Quayle.”
“Yeah, I’m a non-entity.”
“Were you a senator?”
“Definitely possibly.”
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