- If I were a kid, I would have been ripshit about this hillbilly goofball preempting my Battlestar Galactica.
- And the show’s gonna be on at a weird time next week because of Roots?
- What the fuck is Roots?
- Is it about trees?
- Fuck trees, I want Battlestar Galactica.
- John Carpenter directed this bullshit.
- Yes, that John Carpenter.
- He didn’t do the score for this flick, though, which was the right decision.
- Movie’s about Elvis, so it should have Elvis music.
- Not chilly synthwave.
- Hold on!
- …
- I’m seeing information come across the news desk!
- …
- Enthusiasts, a splinter group of monks of Without Research calling themselves Maybe Let’s Just Do The Bare Minimum found this nugget on Wikipedia:
- That guy can’t help himself.
- John Carpenter carpents.
- Everything is in this film, it seems.
- Tupelo.
- Army.
- Priscilla.
- Mama.
- Elvis’ crook-dick, sheep-thievin’, silverware-stealin’, two-headed possum of an imbecile of a daddy–
- Vernon.
- –Vernon; it’s all in there, which is contrary to the current trend in biographical pictures.
- Couple years ago, they made a film about Elvis meeting Nixon.
- (There was also a movie about Frost meeting Nixon. The Frost/Nixon movie came out first, but Elvis met Nixon in real life first. These are vital facts I’m sharing with you, and it’s necessary that you know them.)
- Can this film be sent to me in some fashion?
- I seek to procure it.
- Aid me in this.
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