“I think we forgot to wear our Christmas outfits, Bill.”

“Mickey, my friend, Christmas is all about forgiving. No one will hold it against us, just let their aggravation flow from them like liquid mercury. Do you know we don’t use liquid mercury in thermometers any more? Poisonous as all get-out. We shouldn’t have been sticking it in our mouths and anuses. Bad societal decision, but we learn and progress.”

“Still, I feel bad. Maybe we could make it up to the team with a conciliatory drum circle?”

“Good idea. Absolutely. We had a regular circle when I played for Portland. Me, Maurice Lucas, Corky Calhoun, all the guys. We’d get into a groove with one another, and bring that groove out onto the court. Those were heady times in the Rose City.”

…

“Mickey, put the jersey back.”

“I yoinked it fair and square!”

“For the last time, the locker room is not a merch table.”