Tag: lemmy

Enthusiasts, as a man who was raised in New Jersey, educated in Boston, corrupted in California, and abandoned in Florida, I understand the South. Smell the jasper, Jasper! I do so love humidity and subjugation and pie. Nowhere loves their pie like the South, that’s something I know. College football, too. Can’t get enough of that herky-jerky bullshit down there. (It should be noted that, technically, the Deep South is north of me; however, like all natives of North Jersey, my internal map of the world has Manhattan at its center.) Dixie is known by me.

And I know black people, several personally. They disagree with the white Southerners beliefs about subjugation, but everyone’s on the same page as far as humidity and pie are concerned. Best race at clown-mouth shooting. (A fascinating study was recently published in the Journal of Carnival Sciences demonstrating a strong correlation between race and success at a particular game. Specifically: Asians are superior at tossing the rings onto the Coke bottles; blacks can shoot the clown in his mouth with the water gun better than anyone else; white are masters of the balloon dart game; Australian aboriginals kill it on the rope-ladder climb. The findings were verified via peer-review nine or ten times at various county and state fairs.) So, like I said: I know black people.

I believe I can speak for these communities.

You cannot. Stop it.

I understand their plight.

There’s more than plight to peoples’ lives.

Blight?

Shut the fuck up. Just get to whatever point you thought you had.

But I wanted to be the champion of the downtrodden. I wish to lift up the trodden, so they’ll put me in charge, and I can trod them right back down.

Please, man.

Fine. I will only speak for myself, and the Jews.

Go to it, sassy.

The following individuals are granted immunity from any judgments resulting from their association with the Stars an’ Bars. 

C’mon. Billy didn’t know what that was. The Billy Idol in this picture knew he wanted a blowjob, and that he wanted to buy another motorcycle, and that’s it. And he was British. Billy gets a pass here.

Whence comes Lemmy into your heart, sweet one?
In the time of the cherries,
Plump
PLUMP
Tender
TENDER
In your mouth and
O
So sweet in your mouth
Just as
Lemmy comes into your heart.

…

…

…

I apologize. The image struck me poetic.

It is far easier to do whatever the hell you want if what you want doesn’t cost that much. Lemmy wanted to drink at the Rainbow, play video poker on meth, and buy Nazi bullshit to pile on top of the other Nazi bullshit in his dinky little apartment. I hope you don’t think me an exaggerator.

I hyperbolize not. Imagine walking into this nightmare for the first time. Lemmy must have warned people; there surely had been freak-outs. I wouldn’t hang out there, and would storm almost all of the way out before noticing the Nazi knives and how muscular their design is. These knives are forthright and proud. And, ooh, the stitching in this tapestry. Gorgeous.

Please don’t call the Nazis gorgeous.

Their ethos was hideous, but their craftsmanship was nonpareil.

Dude.

NONPAREIL!

The man enjoyed a smoke, and cosplay.

“Lemmy’s not a Nazi,” the reasoning went. “He just loves Nazi bullshit.”

I am inclined still to believe the line of thought. Enthusiasts, I will let you in on a sacred Jew Secret: we really do control show biz. Music industry is nothing but Jews top to bottom, and all of them are scumbags who will enable or cover up any behavior necessary on behalf of the artist just as long as the deliverable is delivered. Drug abuse, punching hotel maids, these are character flaws that can be finessed.

But you can’t be a fucking Nazi.

A man or woman adjudged to be an adherent of National Socialism and its tenets would be black-balled from the “legitimate” music industry. (A lower writer might have said that they’d be matzo-balled, but I have restraint.) Remember Skrewdriver? (I’m sure there’s a billion Nazi bands since them, but I’m following the tenets of Without Research. Nazis got their tenets, and I got mine.*) Skrewdriver wasn’t allowed on any major labels and they weren’t allowed to appear with any acts signed with such-and-such booking agency and so on. Nazis get discriminated against.

But Lemmy never did any Nazi bullshit. Never wrote any Nazi songs, or said any Nazi stuff, or associated with Nazis other than buying their bric-a-brac online. He thought the Germans looked cool, and then did not do much thinking about the subject beyond that. Alice Cooper golfed, Rod Stewart and Neil Young built model trains, and Lemmy bought Nazi bullshit. These are the quirks of men.

And this music industry made up of Jews–and the Gentiles who would rather not anger them–judged Lemmy for many years, and found him to be non-Nazific. Lemmy had too many friends to be a Nazi.

I must follow my Hebrew predecessors and give Lemmy a pass. You are saved from the Problem Attic, Lemmy.

Aw, Tom, no.

This was the Southern Accents tour. You can read about it here.

FUN FACT: Tom has damn near wiped the internet clean of pictures featuring himself backdropped by the Battle Flag.

Anyway, Tom came to quickly realize that the flag riled up a certain type in his audience, and it wasn’t the effect he’d wanted. He took it down after the tour and gave several interviews in which he felt bad about it. I’m gonna give him a pass because I miss Tom Petty and it isn’t fair he’s dead and life is a hungry monster.

The General Lee receives a pass. Unequivocally, unhesitatingly, yes. Big ol’ yes with cole slaw an’ a shake. The Duke Boys, and by extension their ride, never meant any harm. Never. Any. Those are strong words Waylon Jennings sings, but I know them to be true: the Dukes spread kindness, and love, and flaming arrows throughout Hazzard County with no regards to race, creed, or color ‘cept it was the white of that dastardly Boss Hogg’s suit! The Dukes were peaceful agrarian businessmen, and they had been hassled by local authorities since the very day of their birth. Who can blame these fine Southern boys for seeing themselves in the role of the rebel?

On the other hand, it’s red on orange. Objectively, it’s a mess. Why are straight people allowed access to paint?

SOLUTION: Rename the car the Precarious Lee and replace the flag with a Stealie. Okay, we settled that. We’re done here.