Participation Row is the Gallant to Shakedown’s Goofus: instead of heady grilled cheese, you can find fatty political rhetoric; the doses are not of acid, but of righteousness. You can win a guitar on Participation Row, whereas Shakedown always contains the small but statistically significant possibility of being stabbed by an off-license anesthesiologist in a Red Sox cap.
There are many causes represented within Participation Row, ranging from ultra-liberal to the liberal. The Communist Party is selling t-shirts There is also a group way to the left of the Commies who are just stealing dudes’ cargo shorts in order to redistribute them to the people. (That might just be a lunatic.) The Green Party is in attendance; more precisely, Jill Stein is tripping balls in a Port-a-Potty. Libertarians have a table, too, and they are smoking pot and calling people stupid.
Many environmental groups have set up booths. The venerable Greenpeace is there, as well as Blackpeace, which is also for the environment, but are much more metal about the whole thing. There are tables set up to advocate for saving whales, tigers, elephants, and pandas. At the end of that row is a woman trying to save the passenger pigeon, and no one has the heart to tell her.
Headcount is there trying to get people to vote. Dickcount is also there; that group is associated with Billy; do not let them them to count your dick.
The abominable North Carolina law that caused some bands to cancel their in-state shows suggests that there should be attention paid to equality along this Participation Row, and the LGBTQA community was well-represented. They had a large booth, but then the L’s and the G’s started fighting (they get along less than you might assume) and demanded separate tables, leading to a schism in the group. There are now two factions: the LBQ’s and the GBA’s. (The B’s couldn’t decide between positions, and the T’s were in the bathroom and missed the whole thing.)
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